Link Love (2016-06-11)
“Sadly, the dog training industry has become a public health and safety nightmare. We now know that outdated “alpha”/dominance methods and equipment are known causes of aggression and often lead to dog bites. In the US, the field of dog training is completely unregulated and peppered with practitioners with no education in animal behavior or animal welfare. Anyone can purchase a website with cutting edge features, label themselves a “professional” dog trainer or dog training company and charge you fees.” Love is an Action Word – Positively
This Is The #1 Ritual You Need to Do Every Day – Barking Up The Wrong Tree
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-adoption. I have, however, read more than a few stories where couples have adopted oversized families, sometimes over concerns from DCF or other agencies, and have later been found guilty of abuse or neglect. I’ve also read more than a few stories where these oversized families are praised by politicians or given awards, and then turn out to be abusive.” Jonathan and Alison Schumm Abuse Case Raises Questions – Love, Joy, Feminism
“And so now, every time someone attempts to defend hell to me by telling me that God is our father, and that as our children he sometimes needs to punish us, it makes no sense at all. Actually, more than that, the argument itself tends in the opposite direction of what is intended—I can’t help but come to the conclusion that God the Father as described by these defenders of hell is a terrible father. The described style of parenting—with its focus on obedience and punishment—could not be more distant from my own style of parenting.
While I know his defenders also say he loves his children, and would probably say he listens to them through prayer, I can’t get past their continued defense of God’s inherent need to be worshipped and his demand to be obeyed.” Why the “God Is a Father and Must Punish His Children” Defense Makes No Sense to Me – Love, Joy, Feminism
“Until the Eighth is repealed, it is legally impossible for women’s rights to be prioritised when they are pregnant. Pregnant people don’t have the right to say no to unwanted medical interventions, as their fetus is legally their equal. It’s very difficult for pregnant people to exercise choices regarding how and where they give birth in this atmosphere.” An Incomplete List of Gendered Injuctices Against All Irish Women – and the people working to change them. Part One. – Consider the Tea Cosy
Why one feminist woman is voting for Hillary Clinton over Bernie Sanders – Slate
“As an addendum to this – prefacing your creepy, sexually explicit, unsolicited message with ‘I hope you don’t think this is too forward but…’ is not some kind of get out of jail free card that nullifies the grossness of the communication. It merely indicates that you are very aware that the message is inappropriate, but you are just trying to preempt any sort of consequence with a disingenuous social nicety.” Unsolicited – Robot Hugs
Diversity is for white people: The big lie behind a well-intended stuff – Salon
“Anti-choicers wield misattributed and often outright false quotes about Sanger as weapons to shame Black women for exercising their right to choose, and even more nonsensically, to shame them for supporting Planned Parenthood.” How False Narratives of Margaret Sanger Are Being Used to Shame Black Women – Rewire
Beauty & Body Image
“So when I link and highlight and bring on regular contributors, I include lots of races, sizes, abilities, geographic locations, ages, and genders because that’s what I see. This is not diversity – this is reality. It makes me sad to hear that anyone would think I’m doing this to tick boxes, because that means the very narrow vision of humanity presented to us by the entertainment industry is still dominating perception. It has convinced people that if I’m highlighting lots of black women or fat women or older women it has to be some sort of a stunt, that I must have an ulterior motive. But all I want is for you to come here and see a reflection of the true variety our world offers. I want you to come here and be forced to accept that there are lots of women who don’t look a thing like you, and also to see lots of women who look just like you. And that all of them are beautiful and worthy and deserving of respect.” Diversity, Normalcy, and the Real World – Already Pretty
How the beauty industry convinced women to shave their legs – Vox
“What does it mean to be comfortable? I get it when you are talking about things like shoes, or clothes, or temperatures and the like, but when it comes to my gender it becomes much more difficult for me to put into words well. I write little bits and blurbs and then quickly erase them as they don’t seem to capture the essence of what I am feeling.
I have tried talking with cisgender folks about it and they really struggle to understand where I am coming from, but I have also written here many times how I feel about my gender, and the inner confusion and discomfort that I feel and occasionally I still get folks that don’t quite understand what it is that I mean.” Comfort? – Unordinary Style
“When you tell little white lies, however harmless they may seem, you are telling your partner, Don’t believe me. Don’t believe me. I will lie to you. I will tell you what you want to hear. Don’t believe me.
Is it any wonder, then, that positive stuff bounces off but negative stuff sticks? You are establishing a precedent that communicates to your partner, straight up, do not trust positive things I say. They are empty words. They do not reflect the reality of what I believe. So how, given that, can we really expect our partners to trust it when we give them affirmation?
Little white lies are corrosive. They communicate a very important truth: I will be dishonest to you to save your feelings.” Some thoughts on little white lies – Franklin Veaux
Bullish Life: How I Met My (Soon-to-Be) Husband on OKCupid – Get Bullish
“Also, the self-love and self-confidence and interests you’ve worked so hard to develop are great, but referring to this woman as the “female lead in your story” and writing stuff like:
“I’m not interested in being a crutch and I can’t save her from a boring life. If there’s a way for her to grow up and not rely on me to fill up her open schedule, I’m open to sharing a life with her. Although she’s my age (19), I don’t think she’s at the point where I can tell her this without grievously wounding her undeveloped ego, especially given how she admires me.”
…is a real record-scratch for me. I think you are trying to show how thoughtful and empathetic you are being, but what’s coming across is so, very, very, very condescending. She is the lead in her own story, not a character in yours. Y’all went on one date. There is no need to magnanimously proclaim your “openness” to “sharing your life” with her or overdo it on reassuring us or her about how “wonderful” and “brave” she is or give us your “interesting”, university-educated resume & hobbies vs. her “vague,” “boring”, and “generic”cosmetology dreams.” #799: “Weak Female Lead” – Captain Awkward
“Have you ever owned anything? This is why you cannot forgive any of your former lovers. Things like “having chairs” is preventing you from living your best life, and also you should throw away any item of clothing you’re not currently wearing. If it’s not on your skin, you don’t really love it, do you?” How To Get Rid of Clutter and Live Abundantly – The Toast
Whose Permission Are You Looking For? – Danielle Dowling
“Also because we are human, our feelings don’t fit into neat little boxes. We are capable of massive contradictions, which means we’re capable of loving and loathing at the same time. We’re capable of feeling happiness and sadness. We’re capable of feeling insecure and loved. Depending on our histories and experiences, we can find ourselves magnetically drawn to people we know we really shouldn’t love, and we can struggle to conjure any kind of deep attachment to people we know have 100% earned our love and then some.” Why I Don’t Talk About Self-Love – Becoming Who You Are
Chronic Illness & Pain
“I am in pain. Every single day. In every joint in my body. It’s utterly debilitating. I can’t take medication because it doesn’t touch it.
EDS isn’t just about being hypermobile (although daily subluxations are a huge part of it). I have dysfunction of my autonomic nervous system (that thing that regulates all the unconscious processes in our body), I have multiple food sensitivities, and chronic fatigue. I have about an hour a day (on a good day) where I feel like I can function relatively normally.” When It’s More Than ‘Just’ Being Double-Jointed – Natasha Lipman
10 Struggles People With Chronic Illness Will Understand – February Stars
“Allergies are the type of sensitivity people are generally the most familiar with. In allergies, your body has an inappropriate physical reaction to something that doesn’t bother other people at all. In fact, While the sensitivities of a CSS aren’t exactly allergies, they do involve an inappropriate physical reaction.
In a CSS, we become sensitive to things that are processed by the central nervous system, which can include bright lights, loud noises, strong smells, rough textures, and pressure on the body.
It may also involve certain foods or chemicals. Especially in FMS, the body is sensitized to anything unpleasant, i.e., cold, heat, a tickle or an itch.” Central Sensitivity Syndrome – Difficult to Classify
Broken, Not Bitter. An Author’s Life with Repetitive Strain Injuries – The Creative Penn
“Everything we experience — pain included, pain especially — is an expression of who we are and who we have been. If you could magically change everything about your personality, you would become someone else and probably trade all your current problems for new ones — even some diseases and consequences of old injuries might well vanish, obsolete manifestations of your old self.
The hope of personal growth is that, if we change enough, we might just change the part of us that is hurting — without necessarily even understanding the connection. Mysterious problems sometimes just go away when we work on ourselves.” Pain Relief from Personal Growth – Pain Science
“Reganold analyzed 40 years of available data and focused on how organic farming impacts several types of sustainability: productivity, impact on the environment, economic viability and social wellbeing.
“If I had to put it in one sentence, organic agriculture has been able to provide jobs, be profitable, benefit the soil and environment and support social interactions between farmers and consumers,” Reganold says. “In some ways, there are practices in organic agriculture that really are ideal blueprints for us to look at feeding the world in the future.”” Why Organic Food Might Be Worth the High Price – TIME
Why I Don’t Use Petroleum Jelly and What I Use Instead – Wellness Mama
“However, plentiful recent research now shows that stretching as we know it — the kind of typical stretching that the average person does at the gym, or even the kind of stretching that most athletes do — is mostly a waste of time for most commonly identified goals. For instance, articles published in recent years, reviewing hundreds of studies, have concluded that there isn’t much evidence that any widely practiced form of stretching prevents injury or muscle soreness23 — arguably the single most common goal of stretching. Adding significantly to the credibility of those reviews, a major year 2000 clinical study of many hundreds of soldiers showed no sign of benefit from and even some risks to stretching.” Quite a Stretch – Pain Science
How to Own Your Gut Bacteria and Fix Leaky Gut Syndrome – Bulletproof Executive
“Most of all she sees cholesterol problems, high blood pressure, and elevated triglycerides, all stark signs of an increased risk of diabetes and heart conditions. “They get what we call metabolic syndrome,” says Sheikholeslami. “They’re overweight. The good cholesterol is low, their triglycerides are high, and that leads to a variety of issues.” Unlike most mobile-clinic visitors, nearly every Care-A-Van patient has health insurance. A full 40%, however, don’t have a primary-care physician. For some, that’s because they’re immigrants who haven’t bothered to navigate the U.S. health care system. Others just can’t break away from the workload. Some patients don’t even get off their mobile devices while being examined.” Is Silicon Valley bad for your health? – Fortune
The Tea Lover’s Way to Make the Best Cold Brew Iced Tea – Serious Eats
Is double-dipping a food safety problem or just a nasty habit? – The Conversation
Methods for Softening Brown Sugar – Food52
Paleo Apple Slab Pie – Cook It Up Paleo
AIP Paleo Lemon Garlic Chicken Salad – Beyond the Bite
Cranberry Ginger Mocktail (AIP/Paleo) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change
Almond Butter Cup Cookies Recipe – Paleo Hacks
Slow Roasted Salmon with Herbed Yogurt (AIP, Paleo, low FODMAP, Whole30) – Sweet Treats
Quick and Easy Turmeric Coconut Latte – Biohacker Recipes