Link Love (2016-06-18)


“To get it out of the way: the Gender Novels fail to communicate what it’s actually like to transition. Their portrayals of gender-identity struggles are ham-fisted, and despite the authors’ apparently good intentions they often rehash stale, demeaning tropes: a coy mix-and-match of pronouns; descriptions of trans women as fake and mannish; the equation of gender with genitalia and surgery; a fixation on rare intersex conditions that allow for tacked-on, unrealistic transition narratives. (Many intersex people, those born with atypical sexual or reproductive characteristics, don’t transition from one gender to another; as well, Wayne’s self-impregnation—a major plot point in Annabel—is a medical impossibility.)
All of which is frustrating but unsurprising. What’s surprising, even flat-out weird, is how alike all the protagonists are. Their lives unfold almost identically: they grow up in unsupportive families; their fathers are domineering or distant; their mothers are kind but frail. When they come of age, they leave humble hometowns to find new lives in the big city. They rent crappy apartments, work menial jobs, detach from their families, and fall in with crowds good and bad. Most of them are physically or sexually brutalized.” Rise of the Gender Novel – The Walrus

Mental health week: How drawings on social media are changing the conversation – BBC Newsbeat

“Hell, even though women live it, we are not always aware of it. But we have all done it.
We have all learned, either by instinct or by trial and error, how to minimize a situation that makes us uncomfortable. How to avoid angering a man or endangering ourselves. We have all, on many occasions, ignored an offensive comment. We’ve all laughed off an inappropriate come-on. We’ve all swallowed our anger when being belittled or condescended to.
It doesn’t feel good. It feels icky. Dirty. But we do it because to not do it could put us in danger or get us fired or labeled a bitch. So we usually take the path of least precariousness.” The Thing All Women Do That You Don’t Know About – Drifting Through My Open Mind

Online abuse of writer Clementine Ford highlights how bullying can cost you your job – ABC News

“Childcare in Ireland is often prohibitively expensive. As we saw above, women are still considered primary carers for children in this country, so this has stronger knock-on effects for women’s lives than men’s. For many families, even if both parents want to work outside the home it’s not financially possible to do so- it costs money to have a job.
Last year, creche spaces for two children- a toddler and a baby- could set a family back over €2000 per month. The average net wage in Ireland? €2129 per month. Factor in the costs of going to work- petrol or bus fares, a cup of coffee on your break- and you can end up poorer than if you’d stayed at home. Of course, the thing about an average wage? Half of employed people will earn less than it.” An Incomplete List of Gendered Injustices Against Irish Women, and the People Working to Change Them, Part 2 – Consider the Tea Cosy

Beauty & Body Image

10 Ways to Encourage Primal Body Positivity – Mark’s Daily Apple

“I love. myself. My WHOLE self.
And so I did. It wasn’t a journey. It’s ALWAYS a journey. It will FOREVER be a journey. I will probably NEVER be 100% comfortable with the gap in my teeth, but I have learned to love it because it makes up a huge part of my smile, and when I smile, I smile from my heart. I am less than thrilled (READ: ANNOYED AS FUCK) with this streak of grey hair I have coming in RIGHT IN THE FRONT OF MY HEAD. It ain’t cute. I’m not ready to go all Ruby Dee in life. Now I’m not knockin’ Ruby Dee – she is the flyest of the fly ladies that EVAH walked this earth. I’m just sayin’ I ain’t ready. But you know what – it’s hair. And I can dye it if I want to. I can pluck them if I want to. I can hide those evil ass grey hairs in braids if I want to. But they do not determine my self worth. My gap does not determine my self worth. The scale that reads 224 pounds does not determine my self worth. NOTHING EXTERNAL DETERMINES MY SELF WORTH.” Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop: My Journey in Self Love – The Full Nelson

5 Must Know Things About Self-Love – Paleo for Women

“Because it takes brain space and emotional capacity and ENERGY to roll something over and over in your mind, examine your perceived failures, ponder plans of attack. Negative body thoughts that aren’t fleeting or compartmentalized are like apps running in the background of your phone, draining your battery with every passing moment even though you’re not even using them. If you’re anxious about your body all the time, you’re unconsciously allotting resources to a complex and painful cluster of thoughts and feelings. You’re pouring precious energy into something that can suck it down forever and never be full.” The Slow Drain of Body Negativity – The Huffington Post

How often do you really have to wash your bra? – Fusion

Relationships & Sex

How Do I Make Her See I’m Not Leaving – Dr NerdLove

I really love Emily Nagoski’s work. I highly recommend her blog, book and podcast (which unfortunately has far too few episodes).Watch her TEDx talk or read the transcript, it’s well worth your time: my TEDx talk! “Unlocking the Door to Your Authentic Sexual Wellbeing” – the dirty normal

Science Says That This Is Crucial to a Lasting Marriage – PaleoHacks

“I realized that polyamorous relationships, just like monogamous ones, could be healthy or unhealthy. In my case, the problem had been my boyfriend’s condescending, selfish, and gaslighting behavior, compounded with my untreated depression and anxiety. While we had had problems with the open relationship, our relationship was terrible because of him (and me, to an extent), not because of the relationship structure itself. Polyamory itself actually forced me to mature and re-examine my views about relationships in a way that worked well for me.” Three Ways Polyamory Has Helped Me Have Healthier Relationships – xoJane

What to Do When Your Partner Disappoints or Frustrates You – Tiny Buddha

Chronic Illness & Pain

Essential Apps for chronic illness, patients and carers – Healing Boxes

“A lot of people have a secret.
I know because they’ve told me.
Their autoimmune disease affects their reproductive organs, but they keep that painful fact to themselves.” When Genitals are Involved (& Not in a Good Way) – Petra8Paleo

Health hackers: the patients taking medical innovation into their own hands – The Guardian


AIP Peach Crumble for Two – Joy-Filled Nourishment

AIP Paleo Honey Glazed Grilled Baby Broccoli – Beyond the Bite

Beef Stew (AIP, Paleo, Low FODMAP, Whole 30) – Sweet Treats

Italian Almond Cookies from My Paleo Patisserie – The Spunky Coconut

BBQ Chicken Meatballs – Autoimmune Paleo

AIP Notato Salad – The Paleo Mom

Old & New on the Blog

Quick Reviews June 2016

Fabulous Female: Rachel Lloyd

June Twitterature 2014

The Myth of Multitasking

June Twitterature 2014

Fabulous Female: Gareth Peirce

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan

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