Link Love (2016-08-27)
“I don’t remember the rest of what she said. It is hard to look into the face of love and not be shaken, no matter how tough you are. A few years have passed, and I’m still moved by that teeny white sweater; that anonymous knitting done by a sensible woman to warm a baby too small to survive. For her, there would be none of the usual satisfaction a knitter feels – seeing a sweater worn, outgrown and passed on to the next lucky child. Why did she bother with one that would only be worn once?
I think she did it for the same reason knitters have always made things for homeless people, poor people, babies, kids, elders, soldiers, women with breast cancer, family and friends.
Could this be true, that every little thing actually does matter? Every stitch, every kiss, every kindness – they all count, they all add up? Maybe love is just a seemingly endless series of very small gestures repeated until you die.
Knit, purl, knit, purl, knit, purl. Keep doing it. It adds up to a life.” In a knitting club, I found a cure for selfishness and cynicism – The Globe and Mail
I made some more Facebook reactions – The Oatmeal
“We don’t just loathe inconsistencies in others; we hate them in ourselves, too. But why? What makes contradictions so revolting — and should they be?” The Virtue of Contradicting Ourselves – NY Times
“They said “You are a woman, emotional, incapable of leading, easily deceived. You must stay in your place, submit, and only then God will bless you.”
So we felt loathing for our womanhood, wondering why God would make us inferior, and feeling guilty that we dare question the Almighty’s plan, that we are not happy with his decree.
And now…..now we are told “Why are you depressed? Why do you have anxiety? Why the addictions, the anger, the rage, the self-loathing? Why can’t you just be happy and normal?”
As if no one can connect the dots. As if their actions did not have consequences. As if a child can be raised to hate themselves in the Name of God and suddenly grow into an adult that is healthy. As if a lifetime of emotional trauma and spiritual abuse suddenly vanishes because a person changes their mind about who they are and their place in the world.
That’s not how it works. That is only the beginning of a journey that could take the rest of our lives. A journey we are told not to speak of because it makes people uncomfortable, because they’d rather call us names like “bitter” and “unforgiving” than to look deep into the darkness of our hearts and hear tales of pain and see the rawness of souls taught to hate themselves. Because those stories aren’t nice ones.But we will not change them in order to make others comfortable.” Guest Post: Not a Nice Story – Love, Joy, Feminism
“Every time I publish a blog post or post to social media and use masculine pronouns for my son (whether I’m talking about his desire to be called Mrs. Clooney, get his ears pierced, etc.), people — no matter how accepting and progressive they think they are — tell me I’m using the wrong pronouns. They insist that my son is transgender and that I’m not honoring that.
Good for them. Seriously. Good for more people pushing others to honor people who are transgender.
But, gender policing me sometimes seems like it isn’t an act of understanding, but rather an act prompted by a lack of understanding.
I couldn’t be honoring my son’s gender identity any more when he is expressing himself as female and I use the masculine pronouns that he prefers.” The New Gender Binary – Raising My Rainbow
“Word choice is hard here. Should we say “raped” automatically if a grown man has sex with a teenager? Does it matter at all if the 15-year-old, now much older, describes their encounter as one of the best nights of her life? What is our word for a “yes” given on a plane that’s almost vertically unequal? Does contemporary morality dictate that we trust a young woman when she says she consented freely, or believe that she couldn’t have, no matter what she says?” What Should We Say About David Bowie and Lori Maddox? – Jezebel
“People in schools and churches across the country will pay homage to Martin Luther King Jr. today, and many will read “Letter From The Birmingham Jail,” which is right and good.
But few will read “A Call for Unity” or any of the thousands of editorials, letters, articles, and sermons composed by American whites—most of them Christians—in opposition to King’s work. We forget that just as our most heated discussions on social media emerge from the context of a cultural conversation, so too did the treatises of theologians and activists past. When we familiarize ourselves with only one side of the debate (typically the side ultimately found to be just) we miss the full depth of the argument and, worse yet, slip into a sort of historical amnesia that allows us to believe we too would have chosen the side of good on account of its seemingly obvious virtue.” Christians, MLK Day, and Historical Amnesia – Rachel Held Evans
“They don’t know about de-escalation. Minimizing. Quietly acquiescing.
Hell, even though women live it, we are not always aware of it. But we have all done it.
We have all learned, either by instinct or by trial and error, how to minimize a situation that makes us uncomfortable. How to avoid angering a man or endangering ourselves. We have all, on many occasions, ignored an offensive comment. We’ve all laughed off an inappropriate come-on. We’ve all swallowed our anger when being belittled or condescended to.
It doesn’t feel good. It feels icky. Dirty. But we do it because to not do it could put us in danger or get us fired or labeled a bitch. So we usually take the path of least precariousness.
It’s not something we talk about every day. We don’t tell our boyfriends and husbands and friends every time it happens. Because it is so frequent, so pervasive, that it has become something we just deal with.” The Thing All Women Do That You Don’t Know About – Drifting Through My Open Mind
Questions I Wish I’d Asked My Mother – Huffington Post
“Let’s start with one of the most obvious: when your identity is based on the things you consume rather than what you do. Now I’ll be the first to acknowledge the irony of this coming from someone who calls himself Dr. NerdLove but stick with me a second.
Ultimately, being a geek is about how you relate to the things you love. It’s not just that you watch sci-fi movies but how they inspire you to express how you love them. Maybe you’ll cosplay as the characters. Maybe it inspires you to write your own sci fi epic. Regardless, it’s about the interaction and pursuits of your passions, not just the act of consuming it. One of the biggest mistakes geeks and nerds make is in the way they have a tendency to make their consumption part of their identity. It becomes a major touchstone of who they are; they don’t just play games, they are a gamer. Sometimes it goes even further – they’re not just a gamer, they’re one of the Glorious PC Gaming Master Race, rather than one of those dirty console peasants.” Geek Behaviors That Drive Women Away – Dr NerdLove
What’s underneath ALL the layers? – KIMCHI Cuddles
“I am teaching my children how to communicate, helping them understand their feelings, affirming that their needs matter, and showing them how to weigh and consider others’ needs. I don’t think any of that will serve them badly, whether as teens or as adults. And you know what? Because my parenting doesn’t rely on a brittle obedience-focused mindset, I am more than willing to adjust my parenting over time as the need arises. Still, there are some underlying ideas—treating children with respect, teaching them that they matter, establishing open lines of communication, and focusing on skill acquisitions rather than results—that that will inform my parenting even as it may shift over time to accommodate changing needs.” How I’ve Learned (and Unlearned) Parenting – Love, Joy, Feminism
“I vow to extend love to myself, even at my most nerdy, un-showered, and imperfect.
I vow to extend respect to myself, even when I’m unproductive or struggling.
Part of my self-care is a vow to love myself, no matter what, in whatever condition I find myself.” Loving Myself Extra (or: I don’t care if you like it) – Christy Tending
How to Balance Giving and Receiving Every Day – Who’s That Lady
“After a season of treating my work as my most important investment, I’ve learned that caring for my soul is actually tops on that list. If I can set some boundaries around my work, family, and personal time, I’ll gradually cultivate health in my soul and my family.” I’m not dominating the world and you can, too – The Art of Simple
Chronic Illness & Pain
The N=1 Healing Protocol – Petra8Paleo
I really think this would be a great idea – even for people who don’t have POTS or a chronic illness. Creating a POTS binder – STOP POTS (and Dysautonomia)
Massage Therapy for for Tension Headaches – Pain Science
“Rule #1 of any relationship should be honesty, but this goes double for intimate situations involving people with chronic pain. If your partner has a chronic pain condition you’ve heard of, remember that everyone’s experience of pain is unique. You need to ask about your specific partner’s experience of pain and what specific triggers you can avoid when you’re between the sheets. Similarly, if you have chronic pain, your chances of enjoying some pain-free nookie increase dramatically when you can articulate what you know about your condition.” Chronic Pain: Stop it from Sucking the Fun Out of Your Sex Life – Sex is Social
15 Shades of Fibromyalgia – February Stars
Mental health treatment: How float clinics treat anxiety – Time
“What discussions about ergonomics usually miss is that long work days in a chair are just a fundamentally bad idea — no matter how good your chair is. Ergonomics should not be focussed on ways of making people more comfortable with a bad situation — almost a conspiracy against workers — but rather on improving the situation. Conventional ergonomics, when “arranging things for efficient use” — tends to exclude the most important thing in your workstation: you!” Ergonomics: Unusual Tips – Pain Science
3 Ways Thinking Outside the Box Will Improve Your Family’s Health -Guest Post by Sarah Kolman – The Paleo Mom
“One of the best things you can do for breast health is letting your arms swing while walking. So what does swinging the arms have to do with breast health? Zoom in on the picture below and you will notice that many of the lymph nodes are concentrated around the armpits. The lymphatic system is our major line of defense against invaders such as bacteria, viruses, and other pathogens. Lymph can be obstructed by compression of organs, tight muscles, and tight clothing (bras). Restriction of lymph flow allows debris to accumulate, and tissues become acidic and burdened with toxic wastes. The breasts have a high concentration of lymph nodes. For the health of the breasts and the rest of the body, it is important to keep the lymphatic system flowing. Muscle movement plays a huge role in optimal lymph flow as it “milks” the lymph through the system.” Breast Health and Walktober – Alignment Monkey
How to Choose the Best Natural Lube for Better Sex – Paleo Hacks
Blanch Spinach by Boiling Your Kettle Not a Pot of Water – LifeHacker
“Most of us get that high quality, boutique things generally cost more than their lower grade commodity alternatives. But for Westerners, tea often occupies a blind spot, and people who wouldn’t blink at spending $25 for a bottle of wine can’t fathom spending $10 for an ounce of tea that may last them weeks.” Why Great Tea Doesn’t Come Cheap: Digging Into the High Mountain Economy – Serious Eats
Crispy Smashed Roasted Potatoes – Fine Cooking
“And it’s worth it to buy the good stuff, because like beef, not all salmon is created equal. A lot of salmon’s flavor, fattiness, and nutrient profile depends on where and how it spent its life. Let’s take a deeper dive (no pun intended) into the world of salmon. You’ll learn about all the powerful compounds in this delicious fish, how to choose the best salmon, and how to cook it perfectly with a Bulletproof recipe.” Why You Should Eat More Wild-Caught Salmon – Bulletproof Exec
Tea Tuesdays: The Chemis-Tea of Pouring the Perfect English-Style Cuppa – The Salt
Garlic Herb Pot Roast – Wellness Mama
Fluffy Blueberry Pancakes – Mark’s Daily Apple
Broccoli Cheese Soup – Mommypotamus
Matcha Green Tea Latte – Annmarie Gianni
Thai-Inspired Pork Salad – Autoimmune Paleo
Pumpkin Carrot Cakies – Field Notes on Healing