“FACT NUMBER 2. You don’t need everyone to like you.
This stuff is crazy, I know, but it’s cool, you’ll get used to it. Here’s the next thing: not only do most people not know that you exist, and some are judging you, but it totally does not matter even if they are.
How liberating this is may not even hit you yet, but it will. Check this out: when people don’t like you, nothing actually happens. The world does not end. You don’t feel them breathing down your neck. In fact, the more you ignore them and just go about your business, the better off you are.” The Complete Guide to Not Giving a Fuck – In Over Your Head
“Some may ask why I’m bringing this up now, at a time when the region has risen up, fueled not by the usual hatred of America and Israel but by a common demand for freedom. After all, shouldn’t everyone get basic rights first, before women demand special treatment? And what does gender, or for that matter, sex, have to do with the Arab Spring? But I’m not talking about sex hidden away in dark corners and closed bedrooms. An entire political and economic system — one that treats half of humanity like animals — must be destroyed along with the other more obvious tyrannies choking off the region from its future. Until the rage shifts from the oppressors in our presidential palaces to the oppressors on our streets and in our homes, our revolution has not even begun.” Why Do They Hate Us? – Foreign Policy
“I’m sure both of these people are smart, engaged and not deliberately or actively sexist – but when your worldview is solely shaped by men, you are missing out. And like it or not, your taste in music, books, television or art says something about you: it sends a message about what you think is worth your time, what you think is interesting and who you think is smart. So if the only culture you pay attention to is created by men, or created by white people, you are making an explicit statement about who and what is important.” You might not think you’re sexist – until you take a look at your bookshelf – Jessica Valenti – The Guardian
““Choice feminism” — the idea that feminism means women can individually choose whatever they wish andconsider it an inherently feminist act — is certainly an insidious outgrowth of the commodification of empowerment. “You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby” has come a long way, branching out into various manifestations of neo-”girl power” and pseudo-feminism promulgated by corporations like Unilever in its many Dove commercials, as well as adverts for makeup and shampoo that seem to subtly sell empowerment as well as a greasy bit of beauty product.” Choice feminism: Time to ‘choose’ another argument – Feministing
“Exercising with a chronic illness is a battlefield. You know you should do it. It’s part of a healthy lifestyle. But you also know it could make things worse. Like biking 60km without training and becoming bedridden for the next week worse(I maybe did this). So how can you reap the benefits of exercise without living in fear of harming your body and aggravating your symptoms? You want me to make it easy for you, don’t you? You say to yourself- this is a yoga blog! You are going to tell me to do yoga! But you can’t outsmart me this time lassies. You are going to have to put in some work to make exercise help you. It requires paying attention, and being fully present when you are moving. We’ve all been told to ‘listen to our bodies’. And it works, to listen to your body- you can stop when you need to stop and push on when you need to push on. But how do you develop this secret ‘body sense’ that some people seem to have so down, while you seem to overdo it almost every time? For me, the answer is mindfulness. When you use mindfulness in exercise you’ll be able to listen to your body, and with continued practice, find yourself more in sync with what your bod is craving.” What Is Mindful Yoga – Aroga Yoga
“It’s interesting that two of the three aspects of our experience of bodily discomfort are mental in origin! These two mental aspects are often referred to as “mental suffering.” They can make our physical suffering worse because mental reactions are felt in the body.” How Mindfulness Can Help With Physical Suffering – Psychology Today
““Again” is a pain amplifier.
As if the pain wasn’t already painful enough, we add another layer of pain on top of it all. And instead of the relatively clean pain of failing, feeling a feeling, or thinking about what others thing – we make the pain dirty by blending in our self-worth issues and insecurities. We make it all about us, instead of about the situation.” Are you Amplifying your Pain? – The Freedom Experiment
“For me, paleo is about relaxing into my body, not seizing control and making it do my bidding. It’s about listening, and empathy, and stillness. So much of our culture in America is obsessed with doing. Something I very much aspire to is being. I want to be less of a human doing, and more of a human being. I believe this is a very important aspect of our humanity that gets ignored because it does not sell. It is not sexy. It is not flashy.
But it is the bomb.” What Paleo Means to Me – Paleo for Women
“The fact is, eating isn’t a simple enterprise anymore. As with many things in life these days, we can feel like we know too much. This kind of food destroys the forests. That type of food is harvested by people who live in these unjust conditions. If you buy X product, you’re supporting this destructive agricultural or trade practice. And that doesn’t even touch the less political, more personal shaming inherent in those heinous and blistering assumptions like “Well, if you had any respect for your body you wouldn’t touch that,” or “You really must not care what you look like.” I’d say to avoid hanging out with these people at all costs, but the fact is, our worst critics are often ourselves.” Food Shame: The Morality of Eating – Mark’s Daily Apple
“It made me think … about a lot of things, really. About what makes an act “feminist,” and whether it is more “feminist” to be able to be fully financially self-sufficient, or to write and research a feminist book. (And I do think that to some degree – or at some points in the process, at least – these acts are mutually exclusive.) But it also made me think about the question I ask in the title of this post – about who gets to be an artist, and the conditions required to make art.” Who Gets to Be an Artist? – Musings of an Inappropriate Woman
“I identify as high-functioning. It is a way to defend myself—if having gone to Yale will not save me, being declared high-functioning will—both to others and to myself. When a meme of a chart appears in my Facebook news feed, demonstrating the “advantages” of having various psychiatric disorders—depressives see more deeply, manic-depressives are creative thinkers—I roll my eyes; I know before finishing the chart that unlike the fastidiousness of people with obsessive-compulsive disorder, there will be no so-called schizophrenic advantage. If an illness has no benefits, it only erases. But if someone with that illness can be called high-functioning, the anxiety surrounding the sick person diminishes.” On mental illness & being “high-functioning” – Esmé Weijun Wang
“In the ideal described by some in the organic movement, the most humane way to raise the chickens is on a pasture rather than in a cramped barn. On pasture, chickens can engage in their natural behavior of scratching at the ground and uncovering bugs – a potentially critical source of protein.
This method of raising chickens is rare, but advocates say the availability of pasture could help resolve the methionine deficit – the birds would get proteins from bugs.” People love chickens that are “vegetarian fed”. But chickens are not vegetarians – Washington Post
“I didn’t have some sort of specific or moral goal when I decided to read only the work of women for a year. Rather, I just thought, “I’m a woman and a writer and I’d like to support the work of other women writers.” I feel like the literary world is still so heavily dominated by men and I wanted to focus on ladies for a bit. I thought it might help me discover some books I might not have found had I not embarked on this female-centric mission.” I Spent a Year Reading Only Books by Women and I Think It Changed My Life – xoJane
“If you identify with a marginalized group, are an ally to a marginalized group, or somehow mysteriously find yourself in a liberal arts program, you’ve probably received the following illogical backlash when you’ve spoken up against problematic beliefs, statements, or jokes:
“You took that wrong.”
“You’re not getting what I’m saying.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You’re blowing this out of proportion.”
“Lighten up. It was just a joke.”
All of these responses, however, translate into the exact same thing: “I have no logical reasoning or factual basis to back up my stupid ass claims, so now I’m going to make a last-ditch effort to mask that truth by attacking you.”” Why People Shouldn’t Tell You That ‘You Took That Wrong’ (and 4 Ways You Can Respond) – Everyday Feminism
“Our prehistoric forebears are often portrayed as spear-wielding savages, but the earliest human societies are likely to have been founded on enlightened egalitarian principles, according to scientists.
A study has shown that in contemporary hunter-gatherer tribes, men and women tend to have equal influence on where their group lives and who they live with. The findings challenge the idea that sexual equality is a recent invention, suggesting that it has been the norm for humans for most of our evolutionary history.” Early men and women were equal, says scientists – The Guardian
Beauty & Body Image
“Think hard about WHY you hate certain aspects of your physical self. Did someone insult you once, or call you out for some distinctive trait? Have fashion mags given you a complex with endless articles about firming up your arms and abs? (This one definitely gets me.) Or do you dislike these traits in other people as much as you dislike them in yourself?
Self-love isn’t about brushing the bits you hate under the rug. There is no rug. Loving what we hate is incredibly challenging, and sometimes actual love is impossible, but acceptance will do just fine. Even if none of my ideas ring true for you, give some thought to actions and thought patterns that might move you closer to accepting your whole self with affection. The work might be hard, but the payoff will be so very, very worth it. Just think of all the extra energy you’d have if you stopped burning it off loathing your big nose, bad hair, weak chin. You could take over the damned world.” Affection for the Unchangeable – Already Pretty
“Sometimes when we need extra self-care because we’re absolutely exhausted or struggling with something difficult, we get down on ourselves. We think about all the things we “should” be. We should be more productive. We should be less “dramatic,” less sensitive to everything. We should need less tending. We should be stronger.” Reminders for the Days You Need Extra Self-Care – Weightless
My puppy Freya has been a great teacher as well.
“Which leads me to the fifth lesson: dogs know how to let go. Well, maybe not of a bone, but of grudges, attachments, and feelings.
Within two minutes of me scolding Bella for eating my ear-buds, she was right back on my lap and begging for playtime and attention.
She somehow understood that my “No” said in anger was only a temporary thing. She didn’t add any story to it. She didn’t turn it into the idea that from now on I hated her.
This lesson really got me looking at the places in my life where I could consider letting go. Where was I hanging on to a moment in time and carrying it with me into the future?” Pearls of Puppy Wisdom: 7 Lessons from a Furry Little Sage – Tiny Buddha
“4. Take advantage of your best time of day. You may notice that mental tasks are easier during certain hours, so if you can, do your most important activities then. I am slow to wake and know not to hop right out of bed and try to drive somewhere because I could get lost then. It is also unwise for me to attempt something mentally taxing after supper. Ideally, I try to be productive beginning approximately three hours into my day. That is when errands, phone calls and social activity work best for me.”10 Tips for Navigating Your Way Through Brain Fog – But You Don’t Look Sick
“Good chronic pain treatment can be hard to find. A chronic pain patient has every right to believe that his or her doctor will listen sympathetically and prescribe the appropriate treatment, but that is not always the reality. Truth is, many doctors have not been trained to deal with the complex, changing area of chronic pain treatment. One 2001 survey of primary care physicians’ attitudes toward prescribing certain medications found that only 15% said they enjoyed working with patients who have chronic pain.
This can lead to frustrating encounters at the primary-care level, especially if your doctor is rushed. “How to Get Your Doctor to Take Your Pain Seriously – Health.com
“Today, three ways to unsquish your toes. The ones that have been deformed by those narrow toe boxes. Below, a stretch, an exercise, and a shortcut! Do all three daily for best results.” Unsquish Your Toes – Movement Revolution
“The health benefits of Cedarwood Essential Oil can be attributed to its properties as an antiseborrhoeic, antiseptic, antispasmodic, tonic, astringent, diuretic, emenagogue, expectorant, insecticidal, sedative and fungicidal substance.” Health Benefits of Cedarwood Essential Oil – Organic Facts
“White noise is actually machine-generated static that is used to mask annoying or distracting sounds. It works by combining all the frequencies we can hear – about 20,000 tones – into one sound. Basically, it’s the equivalent of a huge orchestra all playing a different note at once. What you get is not music, but a wall of sound that blocks other sound.
Of course, few of us (if any) can relax to the sound of scratchy static generated by a radio, or any other form. White noise manufacturers know that, so they embed the static within sound clips of waves or rain to make it more palatable. Though it seems like a sensible solution, this approach may actually cause several problems:” Why I Ditched My White Noise Machine – Mommypotamus
“It’s about the way that humans see the world and how until we have a way to describe something, even something so fundamental as a color, we may not even notice that it’s there.
Until relatively recently in human history, “blue” didn’t exist, not in the way we think of it.” What is blue and how do we see the color? – Business Insider
“How do you feel when you hear people complaining about their parents?
Bemused. Heartbroken. Caught between wishing I had a parent/parents to moan about and knowing if I did I’d probably be bitching in just the same way without thinking about it for a second! I try to remind myself of the latter, especially when I’ve had the 20th FB post about Mother’s Day.” True Story: I Lost Both My Parents Before I Turned 30 – Yes and Yes
“A super-powerful being, real or imagined, who had the power to stop earthquakes or avalanches but chose to concentrate his power on saving just a handful of people and animals, after the death of thousands is not really that much of a hero and certainly does not deserve any gratitude. Even if convinced that there is a God watching over their families, and that this God chose to save them while thousand others perished, it is no time to thank God for sparing a few lives. Thanking God in the aftermath of a fatal tragedy is selfish.
If any human being had the power to stop such calamities but chose not to, we would without hesitation, demand that such person be tried for crime against humanity. It is therefore disgusting that believers find it so difficult to hold their precious Skydaddy to such moral code.” Natural Disasters are certainly not a time to thank God! – Yemmynisting
“Every time I hear someone say “traditional marriage” and “hundreds of years” or “millenia,” I think of one thing and one thing only. In “traditional” marriage, I was property. Yes, me, this human being sitting right here—property. Because I am a woman. Under “traditional” marriage, I was a piece of property to be handed from one man to another. I was to obey, to serve, to cease to exist as a separate legal entity, subsumed into my husband’s person.” Any Time I Hear Someone Say “Traditional Marriage” – Love, Joy, Feminism
“Now, the bad news: Couples slide back into more traditional roles when they have kids, and they often don’t even notice it. A survey of self-described “egalitarian couples” indicated that before kids, the female and male partner shared housework about equally. Nine months after having a baby, they still said they shared housework equally, but when researchers actually monitored their at-home labor, they found that women had added an average of 22 more hours of child care a week, while men added just 14. And while women were doing the same amount of housework and the same amount of paid work as they were pre-baby, men cut their housework by 5 hours a week.” Marriages Are More Equal Than Ever – Until You Have Kids – Cosmopolitan
“One of the major sources of dissatisfaction and stress in our lives is our ongoing desire to control what happens to us—to get what we want and get rid of what we don’t want. I refer to this type of desire as the state of “want/don’t-want.” I thought it would be interesting to see just how much control we have over our circumstances. With that in mind, let’s start complaining about our lives!” Constant Complaining: Does It Serve Us Well? – Psychology Today
“But then there is this illness. This chronic, relentless, imposing, hungry disease that makes Kubler-Ross’s Five Stages of Grief a condiment to my daily issue du jour. It’s never ending. And now, it’s become so difficult for me to actually write. Cognitive function is on the decline. Coming up with words, making sense, tying things together…all those things that for a lifetime have come so easily, now take so much work.” When Chronic Illness Makes You World Weary: A Guest Post – Psychology Today
“You’re also at a clinical disadvantage if you happen to be a woman. In one study, LaChapelle discovered health care professionals feel more anger and annoyance when female patients complain about pain, whereas men elicit greater sympathy. “The stereotype is that men are more stoic and stronger than women, so if they complain, it must be really bad.” You can see the outcome of these attitudes in pain treatment, too, she says, because men are more often prescribed pain medications, like opioids, while women are given psychological meds, like sedatives, for the same condition. This is especially irritating considering that new research from Stanford University found women feel pain more intensely than men (women’s pain levels are 20 percent higher overall). So basically the message is women feel it more but should complain about it less.” The scary truth about our pain problem – Chatelaine
“An organized spice rack means a spice rack you actually use, one where each ingredient is more valuable because you see it and want to put it to work. It’ll help you spice your food smarter and more often, and if you put in the effort to buy high quality produce and meat, well, your spices deserve the same degree of attention.” How to Clean Out Your Spice Cabinet and Organize It – For Good – Serious Eats
“But unlike marijuana use – which outside of memory impairment shows very little in terms of severe physical damages – long-term use of alcohol has extremely serious consequences. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 5.8m American women have some sort of alcohol disorder and 26,000 women die from alcohol related causes annually. Deaths related to cannabis are so rare that German researchers claimed to find the first two cases just last year.” Ladies, you might want to swap the bourbon for a bong – Jessica Valenti – The Guardian
“The EWG also found that “the average fragrance product tested contained 14 secret chemicals not listed on the label. Among them are chemicals associated with hormone disruption and allergic reactions, and many substances that have not been assessed for safety in personal care products.”” What’s In Your Perfume or Cologne? – doTERRA Blog
“While my husband Sean and I are not religious, we both grew up in religious homes. My children’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, great-aunts, great-uncles, and so forth, are all religious. Sean and I don’t want to be the only ones encouraging our children to think for themselves and form their own beliefs. We want to bring our children up in a community where they can feel comfortable to express themselves and explore, a community that values critical thinking and self actualization. And here in our local UU church, we have found that community.” Why I Take My Kids to the UU Church – Love, Joy, Feminism
“Reasons are not boring. Reasons are actual, legitimate explanations as to why an action or activity are not feasible for you to accomplish. So when I say, “Excuses are boring,” I’m not saying, “There is no acceptable statement of fact that explains why you cannot do this.” I’m saying, “If you aren’t doing this because you don’t feel like it, and you’re using all sorts of justifications that you know are bullshit so you don’t have to do it? That’s boring.” If your justifications aren’t bullshit, if they are factual explanations that you know are limiting you, those are reasons. They aren’t boring, they aren’t excuses, and so “Excuses are boring” doesn’t apply to you.
You know what’s a reason and what’s an excuse. If we can find a way to work within the limitations of our reasons without employing excuses, well, that’s pretty exciting. Not boring at all.” Ask UfYH: Excuses vs. Reasons – Persephone Magazine
“Considering what some people have endured in abusive environments, it’s kind of amazing that they can function as well as they do. Sometimes what’s left over from these experiences are toxic learned behaviors that can harm the survivor and the people around them.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, previous abuse is not an excuse to continue toxic behaviors.
Some people who have worked on changing these behaviors see their efforts as one more way of stopping their past abuse from continuing to harm them.
Just realizing the need to make changes is a great place to start.” Here’s What You Need to Know About Unlearning Toxic Behaviors If You Grew Up Around Abuse – Everyday Feminism
“The key to any magic feather is simple: it changes you without effort on your part. It’s the idea that this one thing will somehow transform you in the ways you’ve always wanted… as long as you don’t stop to ask yourself how that transformation will happen. We’re just given the cause and the effect: get thinner, and you’ll be a better person. Get this look and you’ll be cooler. Live this lifestyle and you’ll be more important, more socially desirable. Rack up more lays and you’ll be more respected by your peers.
The mechanics of this transformation are always conveniently ignored, because they get in the way of the fantasy. On its face, it seems obvious. Exercise isn’t going to give you a different personality. Dieting doesn’t make you charismatic. Your basement studio apartment doesn’t make you less socially skilled than a corner penthouse. Having money doesn’t make you less socially awkward or inexperienced. It’s pure magical thinking – achieve this goal and everything will just fall into place. You may as well just put pictures on your dreamboard or cross your eyes and wish really really hard; it will have the exact same effect.” No More Magic Feathers: The Secret to Finding Real Self-Improvement – Dr NerdLove
“On the last day of August 2014, in a ruling the country and the media barely noticed, Mr Justice Ryan in the High Court in Kerry found against Ciara Hamilton and for the HSE in an utterly terrifying moment for every person pregnant or giving birth in Ireland from here on out. Ciara Hamilton had taken a case against the Health Service Executive after the birth of her second child, during which a midwife had, without obtaining consent, broken her waters, leading to an umbilical cord prolapse and an emergency caesarean section.” Island of no consent – maternity care and bodily autonomy in Ireland – Feminist Ire
“I know that as the years go by, Sally’s naïveté will gradually evaporate. As she grows, she will need to learn to navigate a terrain that will often make more of her female-bodiedness than her knowledge, interests, or skills. The boys at Sally’s school are at the “eww, girls are icky” stage, but they won’t stay there forever. Someday their voices will be the ones telling rape jokes in Youtube videos and making sexist jokes during online multiplayer games.
Unless—is it too much to hope for that things will change in years before Sally hits puberty? Maybe—just maybe—the boys at her lunch table won’t tell those jokes, or make those comments. Maybe—but given the grudging nature of their inclusion in the present, I’m not overly hopeful. Sally is only six, and already she has to overcome her female-bodiedness.” Gamergate Comes Home – Love, Joy, Feminism
“In the end, chasing a body shaped by conventional standards of attraction and achieving my ideal midsection turned out to be a long and dangerous road – and led to hormonal, emotional, and physical issues, which took me years to overcome.
Now that I’m driven by what’s right for my body, not by what’s attractive according to social norms, I don’t give a damn about having six-pack abs. This isn’t because six-pack abs are inherently bad or unhealthy, it’s because the pursuit and achievement of six-pack abs was bad and unhealthy for me.” Why I Don’t Want Six-Pack Abs – Coconuts and Kettlebells
“Once upon a time, maternity clothing was all bows, floral patterns, and muumuus. While it has evolved in the last few decades to include body-conscious styles that flaunt (rather than hide) “baby bumps,” it’s remained mostly conventionally feminine.
The founders of the new line Butchbaby & Co. want to change that. Vanessa Newman, a digital strategist, and Michelle Janayea, a design student at Columbia College in Chicago, are creating an alternative to hyperfeminine maternitywear aimed at LGBTQ folks who are starting their own families.” Maternity Clothes for Genderqueer Parents – The Cut
“Imagine for a moment the amount of energy you expend brooding over the future, ruminating about the past, comparing yourself to others, judging yourself, worrying about what might happen next. That is a huge amount of energy. Now imagine all of that energy gathered in and returned to you. Underlying our usual patterns of self-preoccupation, stinging self-judgment, and fear is the universal, innate potential for love and awareness.
Loving kindness meditations point us back to a place within, where we can cultivate love and help it flourish. Developing care toward ourselves is the first objective, the foundation for later being able to include others in the sphere of kindness.” Be Kind to Yourself – Right Now – Mindful
“Do you strive for perfection, and feel constantly disappointed that you never get there? Do you find yourself putting things off because you can’t do them perfectly, or worse, never sharing the things you do because they’re not “perfect”?” Why Perfectionism Sucks – Lottie Ryan
“The emerging awareness of this very “volatile” situation reveals problems much more pervasive and dangerous than tobacco smoke. Most everyone washes their clothes in detergents and fabric softeners containing fragrances that release toxic chemicals on the skin and into the air all day long. At night they sleep in pajamas and on sheets washed in the same. Because of this, people are awash in fragrances twenty four hours a day. When people go to a public place, they are sharing what is now being called “secondhand fragrance”. This is the combination of chemicals being released into the public air space from air fresheners, cleaning products, and scented candles plus all the products people are wearing (from hair spray, shampoo, clothes, to perfume, etc). Everyone is involuntarily breathing contaminated air even if they choose to not wear fragranced products. It’s time to clear the air and prioritize human health, not economic interest. Already lines are being drawn between two fiercely opposing camps – the National Perfumers Guild and Fragrance Houses versus the “Anti-Fragrance Activists.”” Fragrance Is The New Secondhand Smoke – Branch Basics
“Why should you care? A few reasons. First, when you can’t use a muscle, even a tiny little one, that muscle will wither away. The cells starve, and the area becomes vulnerable to disease and injury. How vulnerable? Some 75% of North Americans will have foot problems at some point in their lives. The majority are women (because of our poor shoe choices) and the pain usually begins in our 40’s, 50’s and 60’s (because our bodies did a heroic job of compensating for the microdamage until then). Plus, foot problems aren’t always foot problems – often, they’re back and hip and knee problems that are created because our gait is so unfunctional. You can go the orthotics and surgery and gradual immobilization route, or you can put in some time and dedication – it’s all completely fixable.” Becoming a Toe Ninja – Movement Revolution
“Salmonella is still a very real concern when it comes to cooking chicken, turkey, and other poultry. It gets knocked into our heads again and again that poultry is safe to eat only when its juices run clear, when the meat is no longer pink, and when it registers at least 165° in the thickest part of the thigh.
But of those, only temperature is the real indicator of a fully-cooked chicken. The USDA says that as long as all parts of the chicken have reached a minimum internal temperature of 165°, it is safe to eat. Color does not indicate doneness.” Chicken Still Pink After Cooking? Don’t Panic – The Kitchn
“Drop down out of Instagram time, out of Facebook time. Drop down into a much more human rhythm,” says Diaz, adding that, for the sake of our culture and our future, we all have to learn to slow down.
“To read a book is to be in the slow zone of the human.” Why Junot Diaz urges you to read more promiscuously – CBC Radio
“The Soil Will Save Us is part soil science primer, part history lesson on environmental degradation and the efforts to fight it, and part manifesto on restoring our relationship with the land. The reader follows Ohlson as she travels the globe—from her childhood home near Cleveland, Ohio to Perth, Australia—to learn about how people can revive soils damaged by decades of drought, erosion, and poor land management. ‘The Soil Will Save Us': A Manifesto for Restoring Our Relationship with the Land – Civil Eats
“Make all of the arguments against atheism you like! Seriously, I have no problem with that whatsoever. Just please, please, please don’t point to a globe, or a watch, or a lamp, and tell me that because I know a person created that, it is of necessity just as obvious that a divine being created the universe. Not only is this not convincing, it makes you look ridiculous.” I Have Never Seen a Supernatural Entity Create a Universe – Love, Joy, Feminism
“My second thought? Is that I am tired of hearing people uphold the freedom of bigoted expression at the expense of the speech of others. If Steve has the right to say that he is voting no- of course he does!- then his friends have the right to tell him how they feel about that. In a democracy, in fact, I’d argue that they have a responsibility to do so. The vote is an essential tool for change. Speech- persuasion, expression, and communication- is even more powerful in determining the direction of that change. Of course we care about how other people vote. We have to. That’s why we campaign, canvass, and why we bother voting in the first place. Voting is based on the concept- however well or badly realised in practice- that every voice matters. If our voices matter, then so does how we use them. Steve probably cares about the society we live in. So do his friends. They care enough to do what they can to influence someone else’s voice to help others.”Overheard in Dublin: free speech matters. So does challenging it. – Consider the Tea Cosy
“If you’re still struggling, just imagine instead of initiating sex, you’re making them a cup of tea. You say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they go “omg fuck yes, I would fucking LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!*” then you know they want a cup of tea. If you say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they um and ahh and say, “I’m not really sure…” then you can make them a cup of tea or not, but be aware that they might not drink it, and if they don’t drink it then – this is the important bit – don’t make them drink it. You can’t blame them for you going to the effort of making the tea on the off-chance they wanted it; you just have to deal with them not drinking it. Just because you made it doesn’t mean you are entitled to watch them drink it. If they say “No thank you” then don’t make them tea. At all. Don’t make them tea, don’t make them drink tea, don’t get annoyed at them for not wanting tea. They just don’t want tea, ok?” Consent: Not actually that complicated – rockstar dinosaur pirate princess
“Sexism and misogyny are often tied to the behaviors of men and the ways in which the patriarchy oppresses those who do not fit the provided boxes. In practice, however, sexism is a system of power that privileges masculinity, not just those who identify as men. To be feminine is to be lesser, and that crosses all gender identities. Similar to the relationship between white supremacy and racism, masculine supremacy comes with the territory of sexism. And women who identify with more masculine expressions are not exempt from this fact.” On queered masculinity and misogyny – Feministing
“The fact is, that the more that I actively like my clothes, the less of them I need. When I feel perfectly satisfied wearing the same favorite pair of jeans and beautiful sweater day in and day out—swapping only clean underwear and a fresh t-shirt each morning—I don’t feel as much of a need for a second, third, or fourth sweater of a similar style. It’s when I only feel lukewarm about a particular sweater that I cast a wandering eye and add another one to the mix. When I’ve found myself in this rut, I’m more likely to reach for less expensive clothes. Annoyed that I’ve already spent precious resources on clothes that haven’t worked out, I can become wary and unwilling to invest still more. But over and over again, I’ve found that more begets more. And buying many inexpensive sweaters that I only feel lukewarm about finishes by being more expensive than buying one expensive sweater that I really love.” growing a minimalist wardrobe: affordability – reading my tea leaves
“American culture is simultaneously obsessed with pushing the boundaries of bodily exposure and shaming anyone who enjoys exposing her body. I have no idea how to react to that, much less change it. I understand that the simplest way to push back is to refuse to conform – let your nipples show through, wear your swimsuit even if you haven’t shaved or waxed your bikini line – but, as Leah points out, when you run the risk of crossing the “decency” boundary, it makes that pushback trickier to navigate.” Reader Request: Bodies and Decency – Already Pretty
“I’m learning to let go of my fixer role. I’m much less likely to jump in and try to protect others from experiencing life’s ups and downs and its successes and disappointments. Today, this issue often arises with people I don’t know personally. After reading one of my books, they write to me and tell me about the troubles they’re facing. Their stories are often heartbreaking. I used to spend hours trying to figure out how to fix their problems and then writing them back in detail. Now I realize that I can’t make everything OK for everybody, and so I respond by trying the best I can to be helpful and supportive, but I don’t take it upon myself to fix their lives.” You Can’t Fix Everything – Psychology Today
“This same tendency happens with autoimmune disease symptoms. Although there are overnight success stories in the paleo community, for most of us, improvements are slow and incremental. I have rheumatoid arthritis. In the past year, my symptoms have improved 90%, but those improvements were only notable month to month, not day to day. The way I noticed was by keeping a symptom journal – two actually. One is a daily journal where I write down how I’m feeling and also anything new I’m doing to try to improve my health. The other is a monthly journal – at the end of each month, I review my daily journal and summarize. It’s this second journal that shows my progress, and keeps me heartened and motivated. There have also been times when it has shown plateaus in my progress, and that is when I look for the next step in my healing protocol. For example, after 6 months on the GAPS diet, my progress plateaued, so I went on the Paleo Autoimmune Protocol and I started to improve again.” Guest Post by Eileen Laird: Paying Attention – The Paleo Mom
“2. We can feel as if we’re letting you down even though you’ve repeatedly told us that we’re not.
I have two close friends whom I try to see each week. Both of them have told me that if I’m not feeling well enough to visit, I should cancel and that I should not feel bad about it. And yet, whenever I have to cancel, I feel as if I’m letting them down even though I believe them when they say that they don’t want me to feel bad.
Related to this feeling of letting loved ones down is that we may apologize for being sick and being in pain even though it’s not necessary. I find myself apologizing to my husband, my children, and to close friends for not being able to join in activities with them, even though they’re not expecting me to go beyond my limits and even though they don’t want me to.
I’ve decided that it makes me feel better to apologize. It’s my way of saying to them: “I know that my inability to do a lot of things and the unpredictability of how I’ll feel on any given day is no fun for you either.”” 3 Things the Chronically Ill Wish Their Loved Ones Knew – Psychology Today
“It’s hard to help yourself when you are depressed.Depression by its nature makes it impossible to do they very things that would help lessen or even lift that depression. Combined with chronic pain, it becomes even more challenging.
Yet even making a few small changes to your diet can have measurable effects on your moods. Aim for a balanced diet of protein, complex carbohydrates, fruits and vegetables, ensuring you drink plenty of water. I’ll go deeper in a post of its own on you can eat well in spite of pain and limitations, for now though follow these tips to optimise your body’s natural ability to improve your mood and lessen depression by increasing your body’s own natural anti-depressants.” Nutritional Reasons that May Be Making Depression Worse (and Your Pain Too) – The Princess in the Tower
“To help your feet recuperate from their lifetime imprisoned in shoes and walking 99% of the time on flat, level pavement, you need to start exposing them to the kind of work they would have done if you’d grown up in nature. Lumps, bumps, rocks, sand, hills and other varied terrain will mobilize stuck foot joints & strengthen atrophied foot muscles.” Introduce Your Feet to Natural Loads – Movement Revolution
“I’m going to say it straight: I don’t like to see a child in heeled shoes. Let me be clear. I’m not only talking about high heels or those plastic high-heel costume shoes. I’m talking about school shoes and soccer shoes. Summer sandals, toddler shoes, and “healthy shoes for kids.” If you look at the kids around you, you’re likely to find a heel on almost every pair of shoes they are wearing.” Your child might be wearing heels, right now – Katy Says
“The problem is that insomnia is often either a chicken and egg issue or a lifestyle issue. Stress leads to poor sleep which leads to poor functioning which leads to more stress which leads to more poor sleep. Or perhaps you are a night shift worker or busy working mother of three taking evening college classes who simply does not have enough hours in the day. In any event, regulating and prioritizing good sleep as much as possible is vital for a healthy brain. Sleep is the time when the metabolic toxins that build up in the brain from all the energy-hungry thinking we do gets washed away. Complete lack of sleep will eventually lead to inflammation, neuron damage, dementia, possibly psychosis, and death. Sleep deprivation, even a few hours a night, leads to decreased cognitive function, increased irritability, and increased susceptibility to mental health problems.” Improve Your Mental Health with Sleep – Part 1 – Whole 9
“Realizing that things are getting out of hand, and that disparity could be a strong socioeconomic reason why the United States has a 19 percent prevalence rate for depression, Price cut his salary by $930,000, nearly doubling many of the employees’ salaries at a company meeting. All 120 employees will be making a minimum of $70,000 by using 75 to 80 percent of Gravity Payment’s anticipated profits according to The New York Times.” Good Guy CEO cuts his $1 million salary to make the minimum wage $70,000 – Plaid Zebra
““We increasingly encounter the world through these representations that are addressed to us, often with manipulative intent: video games, pornography, gambling apps on your phone,” he says. “These experiences are so exquisitely attuned to our appetites that they can swamp your ordinary way of being in the world. Just as food engineers have figured out how to make food hyper-palatable by manipulating fat, salt and sugar, similarly the media has become expert at making irresistible mental stimuli.” Distraction is a kind of obesity of the mind, in other words, with results that could be just as hazardous for our health.” Matthew Crawford: ‘distraction is a kind of obesity of the mind’ – The Guardian
“In a statement, the family says: “We were surprised and upset to see that the photo was being used as part of a campaign with which we do not agree.”
“We completely support same-sex marriage, and we believe that same-sex couples’ should of course be able to adopt, as we believe that they are equally able to provide children with much-needed love and care.”
“To suggest otherwise is offensive to us, and to many others,” they add.” Family seen in No poster stock photo say Yes to same-sex marriage – Newstalk
“Ever since marriage equality became a national topic of conversation, we’ve been hearing a lot about “traditional marriage.” For people who are against gays getting married, there seems to be this idea that if we could just hold on to the way people married in the olden days, everything would be right with the world. It’s like they think we could all have our own beautiful sparkly unicorn, if only everyone would marry their opposite-sex high school sweetheart, have a bunch of kids, and stay together forever.
The problem is that most of our assumptions about what marriage was like back in the day are complete bullshit.” 5 Reasons ‘Traditional Marriage’ Would Shock Your Ancestors – Cracked
“If you can vote in this referendum, and you don’t? If something came up and you were just too busy and you didn’t get around to it? You are not my friend. We are not friends. You don’t have any LGBTQ friends. Because our lives, our future, our rights weren’t worth a half hour of your time.
I’d rather an honest homophobe over someone who pretends to care but can’t be bothered, any day.” If you can vote and do not, you are not my friend. – Consider the Tea Cosy
“In reality, health is a completely subjective concept that people in power (corporations, mostly, because they are the ones who really run the show and are apparently people) create and distribute through products and promises of happiness and success. Society’s definition of “health” is, at its root, strategically designed to get us to buy goods and services that promise to make us healthier. Diet companies don’t actually want us to lose weight — they want us to want to lose weight, and keep paying over 60 billion dollars every year to use their service and / or product. Health-related companies don’t care about health; they care about profit. And they use our collective fatphobia to convince us to keep playing the capitalist game.” What Does Capitalism Have to Do With Body Image Anyway? – Adios Barbie
“We talked a bit more about it, and she pointed out that helping women feel confident in their looks removes barriers. We live in a world that frequently evaluates women based on our looks and, if those looks are found to be somehow lacking, dismisses us. We know this. And many of us hesitate to step up to positions of leadership, or speak out against actions we question, or put ourselves in the public eye for fear of censure and dismissal.” Body Image Barriers – Already Pretty
“Your body is a fine machine. You might not always point towards north, but your body knows you far more intimately than you will ever know your body. It’s no wonder then, that the body can be a powerful navigation tool when you are feeling lost. In other words; your body compass will always point towards your truth.” Decision-making 101: The Body Compass – The Freedom Experiment
“Guilt is toxic and debilitating and most of the time wholly unnecessary, so a practice of self-forgiveness is essential to kick it into touch and enhance your wellbeing. Forgiving yourself might be completely new to you, as in something you’ve never done, but it’s something you deserve to learn how to do, so I’m going to share an exercise to get you started.” Feeling Guilty? Let It Go with One Simple Exercise – Lottie Ryan
“Variable, chronic and complex conditions and our own ability and function can never be gauged by a single isolated activity, yet we are so frequently misjudged by others if they see us looking nice or being active in any way. Healthy people tend to assume it’s all or nothing: we’re either ill or we’re well; we’re either in pain or we’re not. If we’re seen doing anything ‘normal’ [they assume] we must feel good.
The reality is that we would have not only prepared extensively for every activity – and have had to pace every activity – but also are guaranteed to be pinned to the bed afterwards through a flare-up of pain.
Many who live with severe and painful conditions can only manage one ‘big’ activity a day, especially if it involves leaving the house. If that day has a medical visit for example, everything pivots on that single activity and appointment. The tiny one or two-hour window in which we see others may have taken the entire day to prepare for and more to recover from. Others may be able to do more, some even less.” But You Look Good: Living With Disbelief of Invisible Illness and Pain – The Princess in the Tower
“The truth is that it’s easy to forget how much work healing is. It is harder for me to lie in bed and stare at the wall for hours, listening to an audiobook I’ve listened to twenty times before, then it is for me to create an online course or work on an essay. It resembles nothing of what I thought was work back when I was gulping six espressos a day, grading, teaching, writing, going to a bar with friends, and rushing from one thing to the next. In fact, it looks like laziness. But my body is absorbing nutrients. It is resting. It is fighting the bacteria that has infected my system. It is letting me be cared for and loved; and all of that is, dare I say, very hard work.
If you are afraid of being lazy—if you are worried about your productivity during a difficult time—you are doing more than you think. You are healing. You are surviving. You are, dare I say, doing great. We are doing great.” On productivity anxiety in difficult times – Esmé Weijun Wang
“Bathing has become an ordeal for me. I can’t shower now because I can’t stand up that long and I can’t raise my hands above my head. So I take baths. But doing a full bath – like washing my hair and shaving my legs – takes forever and is exhausting. I have to rest for hours afterward. So I am constantly looking for easier, better, energy-saving ways to perform personal hygiene tasks. Below are a few practical suggestions I (and others) have followed at various levels of illness to make bathing and personal hygiene easier. I hope some of them work for you too.” Energy Economy – Personal Hygiene and Chronic Illness – Laina Laughing
“If you spend a day or two on social media sites, you get the idea that essential oils are a panacea that can replace every modern medicine, both over the counter and prescription. Kid got a fever? Rub a little of this oil on his feet. Big job interview coming up in a few minutes? Inhale a little of this to relax. Fungal infection? Splash some of this on. It’s gotten particularly out of hand on Pinterest, where multi-level marketing schemers attempt to convince everyone they absolutely need to become essential oil wholesalers. Conversely, if you hang around in the online skeptic communities (Science Based Medicine, Quackwatch, etc.), you come away with the impression that essential oils are at best pleasant-smelling placebos and at worst expensive poisons. So – who’s right? Who’s wrong? Are essential oils simply glorified air fresheners without any evidence of efficacy, or does the truth lie somewhere between the two extremes?” Essential Oils: Separating Fact from Fiction – Mark’s Daily Apple
“Why is this? Because if you bypass a boundary (which we’re all really good at doing), you are using some sort of compensation to create a movement that *looks* like the what you’re trying to do but is actually using different bits of you to fake it.” Boundaries. Better when respected. – Movement Revolution
“As a business- woman with physical disability I’m uniquely reminded of how profoundly a healthy lifestyle improves spirit, physical performance and the bottom line.
Emotional and physical burnout – both on the job and off – have taken an enormous toll on the workforce at large. Thankfully, the simplest solution, in my experience, is also the most effective:
A sustainably healthy lifestyle built on three basic elements:” The Impact of Healthy Lifestyle on Work Performance – Business Accelerator Lab
“Doing what one wants to do because one wants to do it is hard for a lot of people, but I think it’s particularly hard for women. We are, after all, the gender onto which a giant Here To Serve button has been eternally pinned. We’re expected to nurture and give by the very virtue of our femaleness, to consider other people’s feelings and needs before our own. I’m not opposed to those traits. The people I most admire are in fact nurturing and generous and considerate. Certainly, an ethical and evolved life entails a whole lot of doing things one doesn’t particularly want to do and not doing things one very much does, regardless of gender.
But an ethical and evolved life also entails telling the truth about oneself and living out that truth.” DEAR SUGAR, The Rumpus Advice Column #77: The Truth That Lives There – The Rumpus
“Here’s the “violence is never the answer people.” That sounds nice. It would be even nicer if it were true. Violence, it seems to me, is America’s go-to move, abroad, and at home, among the subaltern, the black and brown poor.
Now you speak up. Now that CVS was injured. Now all of a sudden you care about their “neighborhood” and “property.”
Their lives though? Nah. Still not on the radar.
Where were you on violence when these children and men were killed, unarmed?
You don’t know shit about Baltimore either.
That’s for darn sure.” I don’t know shit about Baltimore – renegade mothering
“Is allowing people access to marriage really redefining the institution? Or is this reduction of our relationships to nothing more than the kind of sex that we’re having- that other people assume we’re having- the redefinition that’s really happening here?
Tell me again- who is attacking marriage?” Who is cheapening marriage? – Consider the Tea Cosy
“Ads can be entertaining, they can be thought-provoking, they can be inspiring. But, please, let’s not call them empowering. They come with an agenda and that agenda is to sell you a product. So, sorry to break it to everyone, but your Deep Moisture Nourishing Body Wash doesn’t really care about you or your self-esteem. And your cucumber and green tea deodorant doesn’t give a damn about nurturing your confidence. Ultimately the aim of campaigns like this is not for you to choose beautiful, it’s for you to choose Dove.” Sorry Dove, empowerment isn’t a personal care product – Arwa Mahdawi – The Guardian
“But more than just this, purity culture’s twin expectations that girls both dress modestly and be radiantly beautiful set girls up for failure. I’ve heard people outside of this culture say “Isn’t it a good thing that modesty takes away some of those expectations, so that girls don’t constantly feel they have to be gorgeous and sexy?” I could see the point if it actually did take away those expectations, but it doesn’t. Modesty teachings do not communicate that girls should focus on their personality traits or skill sets rather than their looks, they simply set them on a different avenue to achieve those looks and attract the male gaze. It’s still all about looking attractive and getting the guy.” Be Pretty, but Not Too Pretty – Love, Joy, Feminism
“Karuna. Karuna means compassion. It’s often referred to as the quivering of the heart in response to suffering. As with metta, we cultivate it both for ourselves and for others. Responding with compassion to our own suffering gives rise to compassion for others because, as the Tibetan Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron said, “Sorrow has the exact same taste for all of us.” And yet, many of us find it hard to cultivate compassion for ourselves. We’re our own harshest critics.” 4 Qualities of Mind that Alleviate Suffering – Psychology Today
“Wherever you are in life and however you feel about it, it might not be your fault that you are where you are right now—it could totally be due to someone else’s decisions or actions—but the important thing to remember is that you have responsibility for what happens next.
No one else has control over ourselves, and giving other people this control, either by blaming someone else for the fact that we’re not feeling fulfilled, or by waiting for someone to rescue us, is a sure-fire way to slip into the scarcity mindset. I always think this question sounds kind of cheesy, but it’s an important question to ask: where are you giving away your power?” How to Shift from Scarcity to Abundance – Becoming Who You Are
“Studies show that animals can reduce tension and improve mood. Along with treatment, pets can help some people with mild to moderate depression feel better. If you’re depressed, here’s a rundown of how pets could help.” Pets for Depression and Health – Web MD
“Recovering from a chronic illness is not as easy as putting a bandaid over a sore and waiting for it to heal back to normal. It takes a long term commitment to honouring your needs, and creating a lifestyle that suits your unique disposition. Continuing with my yoga and meditation practice has allowed me to continue living a full and active lifestyle.” Why I Do Yoga When I’m Well – Aroga Yoga
“Foam rolling, or self-myofascial release, as it’s technically called, is basically like a deep tissue massage for your muscles. It’s a type of soft-tissue therapy that focuses on connective tissue called fascia. Fascia is tissue that connects with your muscles, bones, and ligaments to provide support throughout your entire body. (1)
When it works properly, fascia is elastic and can stretch and move as one with the rest of your body. However, many times, due to intense workouts, poor posture or movement patterns, stress, and lifestyle factors, fascia can tighten and become stiff, restricting movement and even causing pain.
Unfortunately, conventional stretching on its own doesn’t always release tight fascia. Direct pressure from a massage therapist, or a tool like a foam roller, or even a lacrosse ball, is needed to release those tight muscles and tissue. It’s important to have muscles and fascia supple and elastic for proper muscle movement and function.” The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Foam Rolling – Paleo Hacks
“We all know it’s healthy to eat vegetables and fruits, but we often forget that they don’t need to come from a farm: wild plants are nutritional powerhouses. Purslane, for instance, a weed that thrives in many parts of the world, has six times more vitamin E than spinach and more omega-3 fatty acids than any other vegetable. As humans have selectively bred produce to be larger and sweeter and to withstand storage better, we’ve lost many of the vitamins, minerals, protein, fiber, and healthy fats that make these foods so good for us.” Get Wild: Foraging for Edible Plants – Whole9
“The BEST diet, I think…
(Another word for the Sexy by Nature diet…)
is the LOVE DIET.
We here at Paleo for Women are Love Dieters. Our eating habits are predicated on a foundation of love first and foremost. And so by doing so… we’re not on a diet at all.” The Love Diet – Paleo for Women
“If this sounds more like a religious mystic recalling an ecstatic experience, maybe that’s no coincidence. That synchrony feels so instinctive and so enjoyable reminds us the dividing line between the self and the rest of the world is blurry at best – McNeill’s “loss of boundary” can feel amazing. In communal movement, it’s as if you suddenly realise what a burden it is to maintain your individualism the rest of the time. Morris dancing and synchronised swimming might not be completely indefensible after all.” The joys of physical synchrony – The Guardian
“At it’s best, self-control doesn’t revolve around deprivation, denial or chastising but clarity, intention, and attunement. We don’t disown elements of ourselves but get clear about what role we want them to have in our decision-making. We don’t punish ourselves or take pride in how little we can force ourselves to live with. We create an over-arching vision for our lives and make choices that take care of our needs in ways that also serve that plan.
In that regard, self-control is the ultimate exercise of freedom – a freedom that comes from self-determination of one’s life unbound from both cultural norms and lesser impulses. What we call control is, in fact, the alignment and actualizing of our higher will.” Self-Control: The Ultimate Exercise of Freedom – Mark’s Daily Apple
“In the book, you quote a woman from Tunisia who says, “Where women fight, only men benefit.” This is when you’re discussing what you call “the double battle” – that women were essential to the Arab Spring but afterward the misogyny and the violence were just as bad, maybe worse. We began these difficult revolutions and then we focused on men and the struggles among men to basically divvy up the spoils. We’re just doing musical chairs to replace one man with another.
We need to start talking about violence against women as a form of terrorism and recognize that until we solve that terrorism – instead of the kind we’re often told we must focus on: the explosions; the fight between military rule and the Islamists – the political revolution will fail. That’s why I keep talking about the double revolution. Nothing will succeed and we will never be free unless we have a concurrent social and sexual revolution that focuses on all of us.” Why some people consider Mona Eltahawy a dangerous woman – The Globe and Mail
“Obviously, calling someone inspirational isn’t offensive in itself. However, it can easily become insulting when it’s applied to someone with a disability.
When an able-bodied person calls a disabled person inspirational, they’re usually applauding them for existing – and in turn, patting themselves on the back for realizing how difficult disabled life must be.” 7 Reasons to Stop Calling Disabled People Inspirational – Everyday Feminism
“Once upon a time a woman expelled a child from her womb. It was a daughter. The woman looked at the child and was afraid. The girl was beautiful and vibrant and completely unrestrained. The woman saw two possibilities: The first, that she could observe her daughter as she grew. She could watch and wait and help as needed, recognizing that children do not always make safe choices or good choices, but that they can learn to make the best choices. Her daughter might make big, scary choices or small, silly choices, or even repeat unnecessary, annoying choices, but her daughter would learn from these choices. She would grow up knowing herself because she was allowed to do so. But she might not grow into the right kind of woman.” Right Kind of Woman by Shawna Ayoub Ainslie – ASLI Magazine
“Of course, lo and behold, by the end of the video many women have changed their minds (not sure of the time lapse). After some deep thought and sympathetic conversation with others, they will now consider themselves beautiful and give themselves permission to walk right through that beautiful door! In my opinion, if Dove really wanted to dig deep, perhaps they might have chosen a more thoughtful pairing of words like “confident” and “insecure,” or “fulfilled” and “unfulfilled.” Elle Magazine says the ad is “incredibly powerful” asking: “Who knew the simple task of choosing an entrance could be so empowering?” I don’t find this one bit empowering. I actually think it is depressing. I find the very idea of reducing women to these two attributes incredibly enervating, redundant and of little help in the broader discourse about female empowerment as if we have only to consider these two options.” Why I’m Not Buying What Dove is Selling – Princess Free Zone
“Anything that you don’t love, that doesn’t make you feel fabulous in – leave it behind.
Anything that doesn’t coordinate with at least three other existing items in your closet – leave it behind.
Anything that you can’t comfortably afford – leave it behind.
You are far better off creating a wardrobe with this attitude than a random ‘grab it and run’ approach – you’ll love the working wardrobe you create, and your wallet will thank you, too!” Common Items Women Buy But Just Don’t Wear – My Year Without Clothes Shopping
“The number one obstacle that gets in the way of us being our own hero is prioritising who we think we should be over who we actually are.
When we do this, we end up living according to other people’s values and beliefs rather than our own (also called “people-pleasing”). This is a bit like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole; it creates friction, discord and a whole ton of internal conflict. We’ve usually had excellent reasons to prioritise other people’s beliefs and values over our own in the past but doing this doesn’t serve us as adults.” The 4 Most Common Types of People-Pleasing (and How to Stop) – Becoming Who You Are
“Do you feel overwhelmed by the pace of your life? Do you often feel disconnected or distracted and unable to relax? If so, check out these 6 tips for avoiding a “near-life experience” and living a happier, more rewarding life.” How to Avoid a Near-Life Experience – Chris Kresser
“Deficiencies in certain nutrients, particularly are clearly associated with depression. A deficiency in most of the B vitamins is linked to some sort of decline in mental or emotional state: depression, fatigue, confusion, memory loss, apathy, anxiety, irritability, nervousness, sleep disturbances or loss of appetite. Vitamins B3, B6, C, biotin, zinc and folic acid are also all needed for the conversion of tryptophan to serotonin to take place.” Nutritional Reasons that May Be Making Depression Worse (and Your Pain Too) – The Princess in the Tower
“When you are chronically ill, just the act of leaving your house may be difficult. You may have very limited mobility. And you may have some emotional effects from being confined to home so much (if you are confined to home) – anxiety or fear about leaving the house and all that entails. Everything is harder when you are dealing with a chronic illness. But, here are some simple suggestions to make life a little easier.” Energy Economy – Leaving the House While Chronically Ill – Laina Laughing
“When experiencing ongoing severe pain, life’s daily stressors become magnified and appear to be insurmountable obstacles. It can lead to depression, anxiety, social withdrawal, feelings of inadequacy, and feelings of being “beaten down” and abandoned.” Coping with Chronic Pain – Brainline
“Think of being resilient as the ability to bounce back in the face of difficulties. For people with chronic pain, it means not letting symptoms interfere with living a full life. Resiliency also may make you feel better; experts have found that people with positive outlooks often experience less pain and stress.” Bolstering your resiliency – Pain Action
“Your feet are the foundation of all your movement. They actually contain, between the two of them, around 25% of all the bones and muscles in the body – they each have 26 bones and 33 joints. This makes them sophisticated marvels of engineering, designed not only to support your weight and allow you to stand, walk and run, but also to sense and adapt to constantly changing ground conditions as a major component of your body’s stabilization and suspension systems.” Feet. So weird, yet so useful. – Movement Revolution
“The World Health Organization recommends people obtain no more than 5% of daily calories from added sugar. That’s about 6 teaspoons or 25 grams on a typical diet, and it’s half of what they previously recommended a year or two ago. They’re urging countries to follow suit with national dietary guidelines.” How Much Sugar Is Recommended Per Day? – Mark’s Daily Apple
“An interesting paper published in the Journal of Periodontology in 2009 described a study of 10 individuals.1 These people had to eat a Paleo-type diet, which strictly avoided refined sugars and all processed foods. For 30 days, they could not brush or floss their teeth. At the beginning of the study, their teeth were examined for any signs of gum disease, and the bacteria around their teeth were identified. At the end of the 30 day period, the bacteria around their teeth as well as any gum bleeding or gum pockets were reexamined. The results at the end of this study showed that bleeding from their gum tissues decreased, the depth of their gum pockets decreased, and unhealthy types of bacteria around their teeth decreased. They did have quite a bit of bacteria around their teeth, but they were not the unhealthy types that caused gum disease or tooth decay. As a reminder, they did not brush or floss for the entire 30 day study.” Do I Have to Brush and Floss on a Paleo Diet? – The Paleo Diet
This month I finished a very long book (An Echo in the Bone), some more fiction as well as a couple of thought-provoking non-fiction books. As always I’m linking up with Modern Mrs Darcy.
An Echo in the Bone (Outlander) by Diana Gabaldon: The 7th Outlander novel is charming as always, although the series is starting to get a little stale. If you’ve loved the rest, you need to read this one too!
The Midwife’s Confession by Diane Chamberlain: I absolutely love Jodi Picoult, and Chamberlain has a very similar style. The Midwife’s Confession is about a huge mistake – and how it affects the lives of so many even years later. Couldn’t put it down.
What have you been reading lately?
As always I invite you to find me and connect with me on Goodreads.
“Teaching your child to never say “no” to an authority is not preparing them for adulthood. At all. Instead, it prepares them to fall into patterns of abuse or dysfunction. It prepares them to obey an unreasonable or abusive boss rather than going to HR or quitting and finding another job. And so forth. Children need to know that they can say “no” to those in authority over them, both as children and, in the future, as adults.” Why We Should Teach Children to Say No – Love, Joy, Feminism
“My first, and strongest piece of advice, is don’t be a judgey jerk. Your friend has come to you with something in trust, and that’s a big deal. If polyamory isn’t for you, that’s okay. Not everyone should be polyamorous – for some people it’s totally unworkable, and you don’t need to feel bad about that. But don’t assume it’s the same for your friend, and don’t put your feelings about whether polyamory would or would not work for you on your friend. If you wouldn’t ditch a friend over a boyfriend you didn’t like, don’t ditch them over polyamory. You might think I’m being silly about this, but I’ve seen plenty of otherwise excellent friendships ruined because someone mistook their dislike for polyamory in their own life for dislike of someone who was once a friend.” So Your Friend is Polyamorous – Already Pretty
“Of course I’d think I was straight. If I could close off my feelings for men, I could certainly close off my feelings for women. It was only after I started to learn what attraction felt like, that I knew I liked girls. I always had liked girls. I just didn’t know that my experience was any different from anyone else’s, because we never talked about our feelings. We never defined our terms.” Purity Culture and My Sexuality – Cynthia Jeub
“My anxiety proved reasonable. She scolded, saying, “I can’t believe you’d let him convince you to do that,” and “It doesn’t even feel good. There’s no reason to have sex unless you’re procreating.” I cried, felt dirty. I had done what teen magazines had recommended, what my own mother bragged about, and it backfired. Regardless, she made an appointment with a nurse practitioner. The NP presented a kinder face, but made sure to say: “Just because you’re on birth control, doesn’t mean you have to have sex.”” Sex as a Southern Woman: A Story of Shame – Godless in Dixie
“In a perfect world, there would be no stigma to being a victim of sexual violence. Sexual assault survivors could come forward and talk about their stories without fear of retribution, shaming or harassment. Reporters could print the names of those assaulted, knowing that the victims’ safety would remain intact.
But we do not live in a perfect – or even near-perfect – world. And if we want rape victims to be able to tell their stories in the media, we must protect their anonymity.” We can’t end rape stigma by forcing all victims to identify themselves – Jessica Valenti – The Guardian
“If this referendum passes, it’s a sign from you that everyone who has hurt us- the people who make snide comments or shout from cars or assault us on the street, the families who reject us, the businesses that refuse to serve us, the schools that would refuse to hire us- are not the silent majority they claim to be. That they do not have the support of our society. That you expect them to be better than that.
If this referendum passes, it is a sign from you to every queer kid growing up and figuring themselves out that their society does accept and embrace them for exactly who they are. That their lives will be wonderful and rich and worth living.
If this referendum fails, though?
If this referendum fails, I don’t know how I’ll walk down the street anymore. Knowing that I was wrong. Knowing that the majority of people in this country either actively see me as inferior, or don’t care enough about my rights to be bothered ticking a box in a poll booth. The happy lady at the gym, the old man in the park with the walker and the dog. The people at the bus stop making small talk about how long we’re waiting today. If this referendum fails, I’ll know that most of them see me as somehow wrong. As worth less than them.
Please don’t let that happen.” They Were Right: This referendum is not (just) about marriage – Consider the Tea Cosy
“That coldness isn’t new. Ideally, you’d hope, feminism would be about fighting for the rights of all women and trying to free all people from oppressive gender stereotypes. In practice, though, the radical feminist tradition of Andrea Dworkin and Janice Raymond, who Murphy champions, has often built itself on exclusion rather than inclusion. Radical feminism’s radicalism is often defined by smearing other women — trans women, sex workers, women of color — as deluded dupes of men and patriarchy.
“These radical feminisms, in my opinion, don’t even feign inclusivity,” researcher and activist Zoe Samudzi, a project assistant at UCSF, told me. “There’s a very prescriptive understanding of what emancipation and liberation looks like … White women have historically been perpetrators of violence against black women’s bodies, and the same entitlement and identity-centeredness in feminism has enabled them to proclaim themselves as the arbiters of womanhood.”” Laverne Cox Gets Naked, Exposes Radical Feminist Exclusionism – Playboy
“Now that I’m among them, the guilt I once felt about what I ate has been replaced by guilt over being the wrong kind of feminist—or maybe no kind of feminist: a woman pursuing something as pedestrian and frankly boring as losing weight. I fear that instead of fighting for a world where all bodies are admired, I’m pandering, reshaping my body to make it acceptable to the world around me. And I’m not alone: Jessica Wakeman, a writer for the blog The Frisky, recently came out as a dieter in a post called “True Story: A Feminist Joins Weight Watchers.” This is a woman who’s written casually about attending an orgy, but dieting required a lengthy justification.” Personal Essay on Diets – The Last Feminist Taboo – Elle
“The biggest challenge when you meet any kind of trauma, challenge or even expansion is staying in your body. Staying fully in the experience with an unwavering commitment to be here even when it burns. To sit in the fire, as I like to call it.This willingness to stay with ourselves, is the biggest healer. When we escape or leave our bodies we lock our most vulnerable stories in our bodies and disconnect from the inner voice that will guide us through to the other side.
We have to commit to come home to ourselves again and again, to bring the kiss of our devotional presence to our tears and inner wounds.” How awakening my Inner Woman helped me survive my car accident – Indigomoon Enemark
“When I avoid my truth, I become a stranger in my own life.
In truth I am flourishing in a hot house of honest vulnerability. I am messy, open. I am wild, untethered. In truth, my many pieces are on display for you, but I am safe in belonging to myself. In truth, I know that it is not my job to manage your response to my words, my actions. In truth, my energy is reclaimed and I am whole.
When I live in the bright light of truth, I am free.” Ferocious Truth – Mara Glatzel
“This brain circuit reorganization takes place over a year and then remains stable. People with back pain for over 10 years demonstrate the same brain circuitry as those who’ve been in chronic pain for a year. That fits the clinical experiences suggesting that pain which doesn’t get resolved in three months to a year is more likely to be long lasting.” Shape Shifting Pain: How Chronic Pain Turns the Brain More ‘Emotional’ – Health Rising
“Painful conditions — anything from a headache to back pain to arthritis — can have a serious impact on your quality of sleep. People living with chronic conditions likerheumatoid arthritis (RA) for example, a condition which causes pain, stiffness and swelling in the joints1, report sleep patterns are often irregular and say they have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep because of painful joints2. While the condition can affect anyone at any age, it most often appears between the ages of 25 and 503.” Waking Up With Chronic Pain: Five Tips for Better Sleep – Dr. William Bensen – Huffington Post
“As you can see above, medical use of this term is limited to spirochete infections, and the symptoms last a short period of time. In the alternative health community, the term has been expanded to explain (and justify) any worsening of symptoms related to a new diet, supplement or treatment protocol. Believing that these symptoms are a sign of healing, many people “push through” for days or weeks, expecting to feel better, and only feel worse. For people with autoimmune disease, this can lead to an autoimmune flare.” Is A Healing Crisis Really Healing? – Autoimmune Paleo
“Women with disabilities are often portrayed either as fragile flowers or oversexed, needing to be protected from the world and from their own sex drive. But in truth, most women with disabilities experience the same desire for pleasure, love, and physical connection as any other woman. In this week’s Sex Talk Realness, Cosmopolitan.com spoke with five women about their experiences with sex, dating, and living with a body that doesn’t always work the way you want it to.” Sex Talk Realness: How I Have Sex With a Disability – Cosmopolitan
“If you want to move naturally, you need feet that are able to move naturally too. That means foot coverings that interfere as little as possible with the way your feet work (this applies to everyone – even people with flat feet or who wear orthotics – these are muscle-related issues and can be addressed with exercise and a very careful and gradual transition to minimal shoes.” Choosing shoes for healthy feet – a practical guide to minimal footwear – Movement Revolution
“American biomechanics expert Katy Bowman says we’re all so obsessed with doing cardiovascular fitness that we’re neglecting the health of our cells.
Scientists increasingly believe good health is down to good blood flow and a constant supply of oxygen to each cell – not whether we can run 10k. We can achieve this by movement and stretching throughout the day rather than short bursts of intensive exercise a couple of times a week.” Everyday life-changing movements – Daily Express
“Have you ever felt so stressed out and overwhelmed that you can’t think straight? We now know that prolonged stress or trauma is associated with decreased volume in areas of the human brain responsible for regulating thoughts and feelings, enhancing self-control, and creating new memories. A new research study, published in today’s issue of NatureMedicine, is a first step in uncovering the genetic mechanism underlying these brain changes.” How to Prevent Stress from Shrinking Your Brain – Psychology Today