Link Love (2015-08-01)

Thought-provoking

The Moral Bucket List – The New York Times

“So while we accept that we men are all complex and multifaceted individuals, we let that imagined hive-mind in our heads represent those others in their entirety… and we react to them accordingly. When we let that monolith occupy our minds, it becomes our de facto filter for interacting with others in reality. When you have a belief about the collective entity known as WOMEN, everything you do involving women gets passed through the filter of those pre-existing beliefs. Confirmation bias ends up kicking in and you discard everything that doesn’t fall in line with the image you believe in already. As a result, you often end up reacting to the entity in your head, rather than to the person right in front of you. By passing that person’s words and behavior through your mental filter you are assuming facts and motivations that may well not be there at all. It’s impossible to relate to somebody when you’re too busy responding to what you think they’re saying. When you’ve decided that all pretty women are snobby, stuck up Queen Bees (because Debbie Harper was an asshole to you in high-school when you asked her out and her friends couldn’t stop laughing about it and screw you Debbie, I bet you peaked in your Junior year and now you’re stuck with your lazy ex-jock no job having husband in Beaumont GOD DAMN IT DEBBIE WHY WASN’T I GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU YOU STUCK UP LITTLE… ahem), you end up coming in on the defensive, seeing everything as a potential slight and insult.” Why Is It So Hard to Be a Good Man? – Dr NerdLove

The 5 Characteristics of Couples That Last – Aligned Holistics

“These are all real things said to me in the last year, except for the last one which I suspect is probably just stuck in my spam filter.
Here’s the deal. I just can’t. I can’t use this blog to tell you that testing makeup on animals is bad or that if we don’t reduce our carbon footprint our children will suffer the consequences. I don’t have the stamina or willpower to denounce every shitty thing in the world that I assume everyone else here already agrees with. I don’t have the strength to write about ISIS and kidnappings and poverty and children starving and bombs and other terrible things because I know I will become fixated and depressed and unable to function. I know my limits and I know that without self-care I will fall into those dark holes of depression where I’m no help to anyone.
And I’m okay with that because I don’t have to tell you that Nazis are bad and mass murderers are fuckheads and that racism is bullshit and suicide should be avoided and rape is shitty and water is wet and cats will scratch you if given enough time. This is all common sense. If I have to say this out loud for you to get those things then you are in the wrong place. Mostly because I’m typing and so I can’t say anything out loud, but also because if you know me, you already know these things. We may disagree on the finer points. I may have a looser definition of what it means to be a feminist. I’m in the middle ground when it comes to gun control so if I ever decide I’m educated enough to have a salient point of view worth sharing out loud we may disagree. I suspect I view racism as being more of a problem than the average American (or average white Southerner at least) and occasionally I’ll say something about it and lose followers…both those who are angry that I believe racism is systemic and deep-seated, and those who agree but who are mad that I don’t say even more. And that’s okay. Sometimes they come back, later, with open minds and less fear or anger. Sometimes they are replaced by others who are here to laugh and smile at the ridiculousness that comes out of my head. Sometimes (mostly) it’s read and then forgotten. Just one tiny voice in a world that won’t shut up. In a world so busy speaking that it can’t hear.” This is my house – The Bloggess

How to Stop Worrying – Barking Up the Wrong Tree

Religion

On Josh Duggar:
What You Need to Know About the Josh Duggar Report – Love, Joy, Feminism
Josh Duggar and the Tale of Two Boxes – Love, Joy, Feminism
Why Josh Duggar’s “Teenage Mistakes” Matter – Love, Joy, Feminism
How Josh Duggar is getting away with it – Defeating Dragons
Josh Duggar says he’s sorry. So what? – The Life and Opinions of Kathryn Elizabeth, Person
Why Did We Make the Duggars Famous in the First Place? – Cosmopolitan
Josh Duggar’s Lies, Damn Lies, and Half Truths – Love, Joy, Feminism
3 Things the Josh Duggar Scandal Reveals About Christian Patriarchy – Ex-Communications
Are the Duggars Victims of Christian Persecution – Love, Joy, Feminism
Josh was “Just Curious about Girls” and the Rank Hypocrisy of the Duggar Excuse Machine – Love, Joy, Feminism

Equality

Debunking the ‘Pull Yourself Up By Your Bootstraps Myth’ – Everyday Feminism

“If there are any parallels to today’s situation, common sense would dictate that the current SCOTUS did what the previous one did not: They observed the winds of change among public opinion as it relates to a class of people (this time it’s the LGBT community instead of people of African descent) and ruled that treating them differently from everyone else isn’t fair. Some still oppose this, yes, but the general consensus among Americans appears to have shifted in the direction of affording its LGBT citizens the same rights as everyone else. Our current Supreme Court did the opposite of what the court of 1857 did: They ruled that LGBTs deserve the same rights and considerations as everyone else. Huckabee and company are trying to get that reversed. They are standing on the same side as the 1857 court they so repetitively disparage. When confronted with a question of basic human rights, the 1857 SCOTUS kicked the matter back to the states to decide instead of settling the issue once and for all. That’s the very thing the conservative pundits today are suggesting the Supreme Court should have done with regards to same-sex marriage.” Why Dred Scott Is the Dumbest Analogy You Could Use Right Now – Godless in Dixie

3 Ways to Lovingly Talk to Your In-Laws (or Anyone, for that Matter) About That Hella Oppressive Thing They Just Said – Everyday Feminism

“Throughout my life, I’ve experienced white privilege by proxy. By surrounding myself with rich white people I have gained access to a lot of relief, food, education, clothes, you name it — just because I was near them.  This isn’t new by any means.  The house slave was often treated better than the field slave, and so the domestic servant is treated better than the migrant worker in the fields, and so it has passed on through the Latino and Afro-Caribbean diasporas in the United States.  I didn’t understand as a child why my father was so relieved to hear my mother had found work in a wealthy white woman’s home.  My mother had a degree – she was a certified accountant in El Salvador.  But here she was, grateful to have a job working closely with a white family that would treat her a lot like the nanny-dog in Disney’s “Peter Pan.”   It took a while for me to understand.” Castoffs and leftovers: The mixed benefits of working for a white family – Salon

Need Help Dealing with Trolls? These Feminists Have 5 Ideas – Everyday Feminism

Beauty & Body Image

If You Think the Dad Bod Phenomenon Is Championing Body-Positivity, Think Again – Here Are 3 Big Reasons We Need to Stop Praising It Now – Everyday Feminism

“You have a body. You may not like it, you may not want it to matter, you may want to distance yourself from it in every possible way, but you cannot deny that as a human being, you have a body. Without that body, other parts of your essential self that you might value and cherish – your kindness, intellect, achievements, creativity, passion, strength, power, insight, talent – would have no home, no base, no medium in which to grow and thrive. Without your body, your non-body identity couldn’t exist.
And since you have a body and as long you’re alive you will always have a body, creating a positive, supportive, nurturing relationship with that body is NOT a waste of your time and energy. Making decisions about how you want to dress or look puts you in touch with your body, teaches you about its shape, and can help you express some of your inner self to the outer world. Each person must approach this relationship in her own way and choose to filter out opinions and advice that feel inauthentic or corrosive. And that may mean avoiding style guidelines, limiting exposure to strongly worded writing about the importance of body love, a media fast. But although your looks should not and do not define your entire worth, you still have a body. And although the conflicting messages about the importance of physical beauty can be painful and confusing, you still have a body. And that body is not separate from your essential self. It is enmeshed with all aspects of your identity.
You have a body. You always will. So it certainly couldn’t hurt to make peace with it.” You Have a Body – Already Pretty

Ready to Heal Your Relationship with Yourself in Eating Disorder Recovery? Try the 5 (Body) Love Languages – Everyday Feminism

Inspirational

The Oddly Obvious Thing I Need to Be Reminded Of – Yes and Yes

“At the root of what many of us are seeking in our lives is a desire for greater ease. Often, however, we confuse the word “ease” with the word “easier”. We think that the more we show up to coaching, the more books we read, the more we journal, and the more we immerse ourselves in personal development, the easier our lives will become.
In doing so, we miss the point.” Level Up: The Difference Between a Life of Ease and an Easy Life – Becoming Who You Are

A Guide for Emotionally Sensitive People – Tiny Buddha

Chronic Illness & Pain

Warm Water Therapy – Arthritis Foundation

“People quickly form judgments around labels, including those given to many medical conditions. If the label for an illness uses language such as “fatigue,” we abstract from our experience and think we know what it’s like to suffer from it.
The trend is to name illnesses and pain conditions by describing their primary signs or symptoms. There may be sound reasons for this trend, but it can lead to inaccurate labeling of people and to unnecessary suffering by those who’ve been diagnosed with the disorder or disease.” A Plea for Truth in Labeling of Medical Conditions – Psychology Today

10 Ways to Lift Your Spirits, Cope & Calm Chronic Pain – The Princess in the Tower

Health

Folate vs Folic Acid – How to Avoid a Dangerous Pregnancy – Paleo for Women

It’s good for our relationships – there’s just something about a long walk that leads to a long talk. Before we started walking my husband and I did much of our catching up while sharing the front seat of the minivan, but that isn’t really conducive to a family talk and, quite frankly, it isn’t really as romantic when it is just the two of us. Give me holding hands and strolling down Main Street over fighting traffic any day.” Why we walk – Simple Kids

Know Someone with Food Allergies? Here Are 6 Things to Avoid Saying to Them – Everyday Feminism

Getting in shape is no different. Every time we try to get fit and fail, we learn a little bit more about how the controls work. Maybe we lost a few pounds with strategy A, but failed with strategy B. If we go to the gym for a few weeks and give up, when we come back next time we are familiar with the inner workings, and don’t need to get over the fear of exercising in a public place like the first time.
Each time you start over, you’re getting closer to that point of making things stick.” Why Having to Start Over – AGAIN – Is Great – Nerd Fitness

Natural & Organic Baby Formula Options – Wellness Mama

“The truth is, we’re heavily influenced by the impulses of our evolutionary wiring, but that doesn’t mean we’re helpless against them. Our lucky species developed a reflexive thinking capacity – the ability to observe our own mental states, our own cognitive processes and emotional responses. In short, we can – when we’re willing – observe our own thoughts and motivations with a degree of objectivity.
So, while our primal inclinations are always a factor, they aren’t the only factor – or even necessarily the voice that wins out. In this context, the benefit of understanding our evolutionary default is that we don’t have to do it all the time. We have more options – and can consciously distinguish the underlying sources of our choices.” How Does Ancient Wisdom Intersect with a Primal Perspective? – Mark’s Daily Apple

20 Things You Didn’t Know About Paleo – Chris Kresser

Recipes

Paleo Flour Tortillas (AIP-friendly) – The Paleo Mom

Chocolate Espresso Irish Moss Pudding – Mark’s Daily Apple

Roasted Carrots with Carrot Top Pesto and Burrata Recipe – Food52

AIP Breakfast Smoothie – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change 

Paleo (& Nut-Free) Crispy Chicken Tenders – Lexi’s Clean Kitchen

Grain Free French Bread – Health Starts in the Kitchen

Link Love (2015-07-26)

Thought-provoking

How a Dog Actually “Sees” the World Through Smell – Brain Pickings

“I’ve written before about toxic and abusive relationships before, but one of the keys is simply: how do you feel about your partner? Do you feel like you can never do anything right and that they’re always blaming you for things that go wrong? Are they always undermining you, cutting you down, reminding you of how useless you are or how you should be grateful that you’re with them? Do you feel like you have to apologize for them to others because they “don’t understand”? Do they make you constantly question your own judgement and worry that you’re overreacting or making too much out of an issue? Are you afraid of them? These are all signs of abuse. You know this. Your own Spidey-sense was telling you this was a bad scene. But let’s be honest here: it’s understandable that you brushed off your own alarm bells. Women are socialized constantly to question their own judgement, to believe their instincts are wrong and to give people the benefit of the doubt.” Ask Dr NerdLove: How Do I Know When It’s Abuse?

My [22/F] boyfriend [25/M] is hiding all my stuff and I have no idea why – Relationships – Reddit

“I’ll list here Marie Kondo’s most significant rules, but I do encourage you to pick up the book (downloading means no additional physical clutter) or get it from the library, because her Eastern philosophy is critical to understanding why the rules work and why they make sense (and will seem a bit wacky to some Westerners). Her book also helps with the emotions around decluttering things like gifts people have given you, or important paperwork.” The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up – Psychology Today

21 Surprising Statistics that Reveal How Much Stuff We Actually Own – Becoming Minimalist

“Wash by hand or run the dishwasher? Spouses and roommates have long been divided over the question of which uses more water and electricity. And it’s just complex enough to make for a good argument among those inclined to debate the issue. The short answer is that running a new Energy Star dishwasher loaded to capacity is the best, most efficient method of doing the dishes. It’s also the least time-consuming. But efficient hand-washing is a close second in terms of electricity and water use, particularly if your only other option is to use an older machine. And whether or not you own a dishwasher, you can clean your plates more efficiently by scraping rather than rinsing. Read on for the full details.” The Great Dishwasher Debate – NRDC

5 Insane Statistics on the Challenges Facing Millenials – All Groan Up

Equality

8 Things You Should Never Say to an Asexual Person – Everyday Feminism

“Let’s try for one more premise, shall we? Let’s make the assumption that science makes its best progress when it has the widest pool of possible scientists to pick its best people from. It makes sense, doesn’t it? If everyone who could be a scientist has the chance to be, and will have their talents nurtured if they make that choice, then it’s far more likely that our pool of scientists will be as good as it can possibly be. Every time we narrow down that pool of potential, we cut ourselves off from people who could do good and important work, and bring something unique to the endeavour.” – Tim Hunt has resigned. This is good. This is not about revenge. – Consider the Tea Cosy

Discrimination against students of color rampant in Louisiana school district – Southern Poverty Law Center

“Some studies have shown that upwards of 90% of victims of revenge porn are women. And while it’s absolutely essential that any victim, regardless of gender, can get justice, the gender breakdown of this phenomenon points to something more sinister at play.
The viewing of women’s bodies as objects and commodities, as well as the tendency to shame women for their sexuality, largely plays into the targeting of women through cyber sex crimes like revenge porn.” 6 Reasons Why Revenge Porn Is Really F*cked Up (And How One Woman Is Pushing Back) – Everyday Feminism

Beauty & Body Image

“Selfies are often criticized as the ultimate expression of narcissism, but I approach them as self-portraits, unstudied and imperfect, that function for me as a path to accepting how I look, both in pictures and in real life. For me this starts with making memories with my girl. I’ll take her swimming even when I’m not comfortable with how I look in a bathing suit. I can skip the make-up for running errands so we both know I’m not obligated to “put my face on” before leaving the house. We will bake cookies together, and I’ll eat one too. And in the coming years, when someone asks, “Do you want me to get a photo of you two together?” I will say yes, over and over again. I’m staying in the picture.” The Selfie Project: Staying in the Picture – Adios Barbie

I Recreated Disney Princess Hairstyles With Senegalese Twists, Because Girls With Braids Can Have Fairytale Fun Too – Bustle

Although I started out aiming for a certain look, what I was REALLY after was happiness, confidence, and self-respect.
Wanting to look good can be a strong and positive force in getting us started and keeping us moving forward. It was for me. And I’m sure it is for MANY Nerd Fitness Rebels. ” Is it Vain to Want to Look Better? How Far Is Too Far? – Nerd Fitness

The Slow Fashion Movement – Not Just a Label

Inspirational

How to Live: 32 Attempts at an Answer – Medium

“I firmly believe that we are not our inner critics, that the inner critic voice is one strand of us, a fear-based strand that is not the core of who we are.
One way to think of it is this: most of us hear our inner critic thoughts in this form, “You aren’t good at that” or “You aren’t ready” or “If you do that, people will realize you don’t know what you are talking about.”
In all those statements, notice that there is a speaker and then a “you” that the speaker is addressing.
So here’s the question: who is the “you” that is listening to that critical voice? Who is the critic talking to?
If you were your critic, there would be no separate you for the critic to address its remarks to.” a question to ask yourself today – Tara Sophia Mohr

10 slow and difficult steps to moderate success – Alexandra Franzen

“I need to schedule time to be unscheduled, I need to force myself to wander, I have to reassure myself that staring into space is as useful as staring into my laptop.” Secret of Adulthood: Sometimes, You Have to Work Hard to Be Lazy – Positively Positive

Five Minutes of Mindfulness Magic – Psychology Today

Chronic Illness & Pain

DWP, dealing with department work and pensions, DWP Disability, DLA, ESA – Grace Quantock

“The human–pet connection is one that researchers continue to explore. Over the past few decades there have been numerous studies examining the role of pets in our health, and more are underway. It’s possible that pets could eventually become an integral part of arthritis treatment, or they may maintain their current status as helpful furry friends. Whatever the future holds, there’s no question that for now, pets like Tony are making a big difference for people like Karen Alvarez. “I could probably do it without him,” Alvarez says, “but I’m glad I don’t have to.”” The Power of Pets – Arthritis Self-Management

Travel Food Tips While On AIP – Autoimmune Paleo

“Despite these working theories of why I feel as if I have the flu 24/7, as of this writing, there’s no proven cause and no cure for CFS. This is not surprising, given that so little money is allocated for research into this debilitating illness. Why? One reason is the absurd name. As others have pointed out, calling it, “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome,” is like calling Emphysema, “Chronic Cough Syndrome,” or Alzheimer’s, “Chronic Forgetfulness Syndrome.”” The Stigma of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – Psychology Today & The Stigma of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome II: Readers Respond – Psychology Today

Bioethics Expert Calls for a National Strategy to Address Chronic Pain – KUMC

“New research is revealing that many cases of depression are caused by an allergic reaction to inflammation.  Tim de Chant of NOVA writes: “Inflammation is our immune system’s natural response to injuries, infections, or foreign compounds. When triggered, the body pumps various cells and proteins to the site through the blood stream, including cytokines, a class of proteins that facilitate intercellular communication.  It also happens that people suffering from depression are loaded with cytokines.”  Inflammation is caused by obesity, high sugar diets, high quantities of trans fats, unhealthy diets in general, and other causes.” New Research Discovers that Depression is an Allergic Reaction to Inflammation – FEEL Guide

3 Essential Skills for Moms with Chronic Illness – Our Small Hours

Health

25 Easy Ways to Help the Environment: A Beginner’s Guide – StyleCaster

“”Even if you’re meeting your physical activity guidelines, you cannot undo the risks of prolonged sitting,” said Gavin Bradley, director of the campaign group Get Britain Standing, one of the authors of the new guidance. Bradley, who spoke during a telephone interview while walking, said officials estimate the average Briton sits for more than half of their working hours. His group is expanding its campaign to other countries including the U.S. on Tuesday and is pushing for more people to have access to a desk that allows them to stand.” Don’t take a seat: Panel says workers should stand for about 2 hours a day, even with exercise – Calgary Herald

How to Relieve Neck and Shoulder Tension – Fit for Real Life

“We usually think our mind is in control and telling our body what to do. But there is a lot of scientific evidence that shows the chatter between mind and body goes two ways, and the body is an integral part of how we think. In the new book How the Body Knows Its Mind, Prof. Sian Beilock provides the latest scientific evidence about the body’s influence on our psyche, drawing on work from her own laboratory and from colleagues around the world.” Mind-body connection not a one-way street – Medical Xpress

Coffee Naps: The Bulletproof Power Nap, Explained – Bulletproof Executive

Recipes

Paleo Banoffee Pie – Ari Eats

Rosemary Aioli and Kaleidoscope Fries – Mark’s Daily Apple

Guest Post by Joy-Filled Nourishment: Mint-infused Blackberry-Raspberry Lemonade (Autoimmune Protocol-Friendly) – The Paleo Mom

Mason Jar Mayo: Easy 2-Minute Mayonnaise – Neo-Homesteading

Superfood Scavenger Salad (AIP & WahlsPaleo+) – Petra8Paleo

Gluten Free / Paleo / AIP Sticky Legs Recipe – Paleo Cajun Lady

Link Love (2015-07-18)

Thought-provoking

The Shut-In Economy – On Demand – Medium

“In theory, more options are better, right? Wrong. Psychology professor Barry Schwartz, famous for his 2004 book The Paradox of Choice, divided us into two types of people: “satisficers” (those who satisfy and then suffice) and “maximizers,” who seek out the best.
Thanks to smartphones and the Internet, our options are unlimited, whether it’s a retail item or a romantic possibility. We have all become maximizers. When I think back to that sad peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich I had in Seattle, this idea resonates with me. Besides gasoline, it’s nearly impossible for me to think of anything I won’t put in time for to find the best. I’m a maximizer for just about everything. Tacos? You better believe. Candles? If you only knew how good the candles in my house smell.
It’s easy to find and get the best, so why not do it? If you are in a big city or on an online-­dating site, you are now comparing your potential partners not just to other potential partners but rather to an idealized person to whom no one could ­measure up.
But people don’t always know what they’re looking for in a soul mate, unlike when they’re picking something easier, like laundry detergent.” Aziz Ansari: Love, Online Dating, Modern Romance and the Internet – Time

8 things I learned from wearing an Apple Watch for a couple of weeks – The Oatmeal

“One of the common issues I see in couples isn’t that they don’t communicate, it’s that they’re communicating in a way that their partner doesn’t understand. Everybody has their own personality quirks; the problem is how often we tend to assume those quirks are completely understandable, transparent and universal. You think you’re making yourself perfectly clear. Your partner, on the other hand, is mystified like a dog that doesn’t understand why the cat doesn’t want to be his friend.” Better Communication Can Save Your Relationship – Dr NerdLove

Tony Fadell: The first secret of design is… noticing – TED

Equality

the one reason I haven’t shared that tea/consent thing – the dirty normal

“It is time for Ireland to legalize abortion law once and for all. An Amnesty International report, released on Tuesday, reveals what the human rights organization calls the “devastating impact” of Ireland’s ban on abortion: grieving women forced to carry dying fetuses to term, rape and incest victims with no recourse, even suicidal women – who legally should be able to obtain abortions – having their rights violated and lives put at risk.” Ireland’s abortion law tortures women. It needs to be legal. – Jessica Valenti – The Guardian

You Know Those Common Objections to ‘They’ Pronouns’? Here Are 9 Simple Facts to Shut Them Down – Everyday Feminism

“I think that what our society teaches young girls, and I think it’s also something that’s quite difficult for even older women and self-professed feminists to shrug off, is that idea that likability is an essential part of you, of the space you occupy in the world, that you’re supposed to twist yourself into shapes to make yourself likable, that you’re supposed to hold back sometimes, pull back, don’t quite say, don’t be too pushy, because you have to be likable.
And I say that’s bullshit.” I’m Wasting My Likeable On the Wrong People. Are You? – Yes and Yes

Trevor Aaronson: How this FBI strategy is actually creating US-based terrorists – TED

Inspirational

“In order to move forward with our own healing and to learn to love ourselves better, we’ve got to facilitate the healing of that inner child.
We are adults now, so it is our responsibility to look at that poor, hurt, misunderstood kid and tell her or him that they are loved, valuable, wanted and important.
But how do we do that?” Healing the Inner Child: Sunday Self Love Challenge – Health Light Balance

Going through a life change? The one thing you need to do. – Lottie Ryan

“If we make space for contemplation and meditation right in our own homes, then peace and joy are always available to us,” Dung writes in the introduction of the book. In this sacred space in our home, he writes, we are able to “return to ourselves and touch something deep within ourselves.” 3 Tips for Creating a Home Meditation Practice – World of Psychology

Practicing Non-Judgment – Zen Habits

“2. Because you will provide greater peace of mind to people who are grieving. Family members won’t have to agonize, wondering, “But what if someone had known CPR?” They will know that every possible action was taken to save their loved one. Because you tried.” Trying is always worth it – Alexandra Franzen

Chronic Illness & Pain

14 Tips from 14 Years Sick – Psychology Today

“I stood wavering between a few different emotions: anger, hurt, disappointment and unbelief. Did my disease really deserve nothing better than a simple “Oh”? I pondered for a moment what this encounter would have been like if the illness I was stricken by was in fact cancer. This stranger probably would have told me that I was brave, and she may have even shared with me stories of loved ones she knew battling cancer. There most certainly would have been a tear shed, and even a silent hug, followed by a “But you’re so young!” and a sincere “Good luck!” Why is it that only one disease seems to command the compassion of others, while the rest are lost and forgotten?” When a Woman’s One-Word Response to My Disease Angered Me – The Mighty

Learning to Delay Gratification – Autoimmune Paleo

“Before we zip through the end of this year and leap to the next, I have a suggestion: Take stock of what you’re leaving behind.
It’s so easy to look ahead, we often fail
to give ourselves credit for how far we’ve come.” The Flawed Fibromyalgia Success Map – ProHealth

Health

Does milk really do your kid’s body good? – Today’s Parent

“Few know that only the last of our digestive tract’s eight metres deals with faeces, that it produces more than 20 kinds of hormone, contains more than a thousands species of bacteria and is controlled by a nervous system that is almost as complex as the brain’s.
And Enders argues that even scientists like her – a 24-year-old doctoral student at Frankfurt’s Goethe University – have only in recent years started to explore the possibility that the health of our bowels could have a more direct influence on our mental wellbeing, our motivation, memory and sense of morality than our DNA.” Gut reaction: book celebrating digestive tract becomes German bestseller – The Guardian

Ask Well: Do Microwaves Degrade Food Nutrients? – The New York Times

“All yogurt is initially created equal, but after that, all bets are off. For whatever reason, food producers have seen fit to ruin a perfectly good thing with misguided additions and subtractions.” Is All Yoghurt Created Equal? – Mark’s Daily Apple

The Problem with Calcium Supplements – Wellness Mama

“Even while many women suffer PCOS because insulin resistance causes their testosterone levels to rise, this is actually only the case for about 70% of women with PCOS. For everyone else with PCOS, metformin’s effects will be minimal at best, and may in fact be harmful.” Metformin and PCOS: Everything You Need to Know – Paleo for Women

The Pseudoscience of Beauty Products – The Atlantic

Recipes

Carrot Ginger Meatballs – Plaid & Paleo

Instant Pot Pina Colada Chicken Recipe – AIP Paleo, Gluten Free, Easy – Paleo Cajun Lady

Banoffie – Banana Coconut Cream Pie (AIP, Paleo) – Further Food

Farmacy: Mizuba Matcha Green Tea + Tart – thirlby

12 Delicious Infused Water Recipes – Beauty in the Mess

Carrot Cake with Whipped Coconut Frosting (AIP, Paleo) – Heartbeet Kitchen

Quick Lit July 2015

I missed last month’s Quick Lit, so there are extra many books on today’s list.

Every year I set myself a target for number of books I want to read. Since 2007 I have read at least 52 books a year, and that has been my goal for the past several years. Due to my continuing health challenges I have found myself with a bit more time spend on the couch or in bed, so I have decided to up my target number this year. I’m adding another book/month for a total of 66 books this year – so far I am on target. You can follow my progress on Goodreads, and I’d love it if you’d add me as a friend!

Reviews

The one skillThe One Skill: How mastering the art of letting go will change your life by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits (free download): Leo Babauta has this wonderful habit of giving gifts every year on his birthday, The One Skill was his birthday present last year. I highly recommend downloading it! It’s a beautiful primer on happiness, minimalism and how to let go of what is non-essential in life.

me before youMe Before You by Jojo Moyes (currently $5.68 on Kindle): Me Before You would probably be considered Chick Lit, but it has a whole lot more depth than your traditional Chick Lit (which is most definitely my favourite kind). What makes life worth living, how do you break out of your shell, and who gets to make these decisions for us? Recommended.

YY by Marjorie Celona (currently $5.96 on Kindle): I absolutely adored the beginning of this, it was beautifully and lyrically written. Further along the story I found it more and more difficult to care about the characters, although I am happy I stuck with it.

sexy by natureSexy by Nature by Stefani Ruper: Stefani Ruper is the creator of Paleo for Women, one of my all-time favourite sites. In Sexy by Nature she dives into the importance of loving yourself and treating your body right. It is a great primer on how to eat and look after yourself as a woman.

nourish paleo cookbookNourish: The Paleo Healing Cookbook: Easy Yet Flavorful Recipes that Fight Autoimmune Illnesses by Rachel Bryant: Gorgeous looking recipes that are all compliant with the Autoimmune Protocol (AIP).

wholebody barefootWholebody Barefoot: Transitioning Well to Minimal Footwear by Katy Bowman: Wholebody Barefoot is an excellent introduction to barefoot/minimal footwear. While technically a short book, it wasn’t a short read. Bowman is great at diving in and giving you all of the necessary information, and she doesn’t shy away from using the technical terms, which is necessary to actually give you even a limited overview of how different types of footwear can affect your gait and the rest of your body. Full of useful exercises and enlightening information, I highly recommend it.

As always, I’m linking up with Modern Mrs Darcy.

What have you been reading lately?
As always I invite you to find me and connect with me on Goodreads.

Updates + Newsletter

It’s been a long time since I’ve written any longer / more extensive posts.

Regular readers might recall that late last year I shared about my health struggles. While my doctors and I continue to work on these issues, things have not gotten easier – far from it.

It has been my plan for a long time to open up around these things, but finding the right words have been difficult.

I have set up a newsletter, for those who want to stay in touch in a more informal way, and I’ll be sharing there first – although other updates will make their way to the blog as well, at a later day.

So please, go ahead and sign up for my newsletter if you’d like to stay in touch – I promise not to spam you, and you can of course unsubscribe any time you want.

Link Love (2015-07-11)

Thought-provoking

“There’s a difference between having an unpopular or opposite opinion and being a dick to other people. If you’ve found that you’re regularly getting excluded from conversations or kicked out of forums for the apparent crime of not agreeing with everyone, then it may be that the problem isn’t what you have to say, but how you’re saying it.” How to Share Your Unpopular Opinion (Without Being an Asshole) – Dr NerdLove

Share Fondness and Admiration – The Gottman Relationship Blog

“EU plans to regulate hormone-damaging chemicals found in pesticides have been dropped because of threats from the US that this would adversely affect negotiations for the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (TTIP), according to a report in The Guardian. Draft EU regulations would have banned 31 pesticides containing endocrine disrupting chemicals (EDCs) that have been linked to testicular cancer and male infertility.” EU dropped plans for safer pesticides because of TTIP and pressure from US – Ars Technica UK

Tea Tuesdays: Butter Up That Tea, Tibetan-Style – NPR

“To be fair, I recognize the reasons why some parents or guardians would want to—shall we say—enthusiastically encourage their children to hug relatives and family friends. Hugs are positive, right? They instill trust, good will, and healthy connections to the people closest to you, right?
Of course they do – when they’re given consensually. And even four-year-olds have bodily autonomy, and therefore, the right to consent (or not).” Your Child Should Never Be Forced to Hug Anyone (Yes, Including a Relative) – Here Are 7 Reasons Why – Everyday Feminism

Reading: The Struggle by Tim Parks – The New York Review of Books

Religion

“Over the past week, as I have followed the response to the revelation that Josh Duggar sexually molested five girls as a teen, I have grown only more disheartened. At times I’ve started to hyperventilate. Many Christians are placing more emphasis on protecting Josh than on protecting his victims. Just as many have proven themselves unable to distinguish between consensual premarital sexual contact and nonconsensual premarital sexual contact. Even more have acted as though forgiveness should negate consequences.” How Christian Culture Excuses Sex Offenders – Love, Joy, Feminism

Equality

11 Situations You Take for Granted Every Day that Prove the World is Cissexist – Everyday Feminism

“Turning someone in for child sexual assault can only be framed as “ruining their life” if you remove their victims, present and future, from the picture entirely. Does life as a registered sex offender truly weigh more on the scale than the life of a sexually abused child whose abuser walks the street with no record or legal consequences for his actions?” When the Perpetrators Matter More Than the Victims – Love, Joy, Feminism

Yassmin Abdel-Magied: What does my headscarf mean to you? – TED

“When women win literary awards for fiction it’s usually for writing from a male perspective and/or about men. The more prestigious the award, the more likely the subject of the narrative will be male.” Books about women don’t win big awards: some data – Nicola Griffith

Beauty & Body Image

“Self-love is where I lack confidence. Self-love is the very place where I must fight to practice what I preach. Self-love blog posts are the posts I read over and over to myself, because sometimes I channel the very words I most need to hear myself.” How I Gained Five Pounds and Totally Lost It – Health Light Balance

“We’ve had the same conversations about make-up her whole life. She’s allowed to play with mine at home. I’ve taught her how to do it well. I’ve always talked about it as a choice, something she could choose or not when she’s older and something I find fun. Because I do. I actually used to do it for a living. While I realize I can’t possibly role model every possibility of expressing womanhood (it’s unlimited, really), it’s important to me that I’m always holding space for other women as well as whoever she may become.
So it came as a shock when baby girl told me to put make-up on the other day.
She was complimenting my outfit and said, “You look beautiful but you should put make-up on and be more beautiful.” It wasn’t mean spirited. She wasn’t being rude. But that should stood out to me. This same conversation played out a few times in a week and I realized this was something worth addressing. I thought I’d been so clear. It was a choice. Everyone is beautiful as they come. And then my example hit me like a ton of bricks.
1) Tell her make-up isn’t a mandate. 2) Tell her it’s a choice for fun. 3) Put it on every single day.
Shit.” Does make-up make Mommy beautiful? – Erin Brown

Inspirational

Free Colouring In Printables – Mandala Meditation

“Being single has its advantages. I never realized how much energy I was expending on compromising and trying to make things work. It’s lonely at times but much more relaxing. So much so that I think I’m going to give up all of my high maintenance relationships. Maybe it will help me cut down on my crash and burn days.
In fact, I’m thinking about promoting a psychological energy conservation campaign modeled after Go Green. Instead of Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, my slogan is Refrain, Reframe, Reevaluate. Since my tag line is less intuitive, let me elaborate.” Psychological Energy Conservation – Normal In Training

All About Kindness: Quotations, Reflections, and Photos – Psychology Today

“Decluttering, believes Saruwatari, isn’t just about getting your desk and closet in order. It’s about relieving yourself of all the stuff you’re hanging onto from past careers, relationships, and unfinished business. “It was a huge ‘aha’ moment for me to realize the power of going through your clutter and letting go of it,” she says.” The Psychology Behind All That Clutter You Can’t Get Rid Off – Fast Company

Chronic Illness & Pain

What It’s Like to to Take a Vacation While Chronically Ill – Psychology Today

“1) Take a list of symptoms and questions. Always go to the doctors with a list of your symptoms and a list of questions, particularly if you suffer from brain fog or find yourself overwhelmed when discussing your issues. If possible keep a diary of how you feel in the run up to the appointment so you are detailed about your experiences.” 5 Tips to Get the Most Help Possible from Your Doctor Appointments – Lottie Ryan

How to Handle a Fibromyalgia Flare Up: 5 Tips – Fibro Geek

“Autoimmune disease is serious business. It often requires medical intervention to prevent disability, treat excruciating pain, and even save lives. While the side effects can be scary (which is why we have the goal to get off medication), living with the symptoms of an untreated autoimmune disease is even scarier. There is no shame in taking medication. People who go off their medication aren’t superior to those who don’t. They’re often just luckier. The truth is — some people’s illness is more aggressive than others.” Where Medication Fits on a Healing Diet – Autoimmune Paleo

Acceptance with Resilience – Living with Chronic Pain – Brain Blogger

“Exercising with a chronic illness is a battlefield. You know you should do it. It’s part of a healthy lifestyle. But you also know it could make things worse. Like biking 60km without training and becoming bedridden for the next week worse(I maybe did this). So how can you reap the benefits of exercise without living in fear of harming your body and aggravating your symptoms? You want me to make it easy for you, don’t you? You say to yourself- this is a yoga blog! You are going to tell me to do yoga! But you can’t outsmart me this time lassies. You are going to have to put in some work to make exercise help you. It requires paying attention, and being fully present when you are moving. We’ve all been told to ‘listen to our bodies’. And it works, to listen to your body- you can stop when you need to stop and push on when you need to push on. But how do you develop this secret ‘body sense’ that some people seem to have so down, while you seem to overdo it almost every time? For me, the answer is mindfulness. When you use mindfulness in exercise you’ll be able to listen to your body, and with continued practice, find yourself more in sync with what your bod is craving.” What Is Mindful Yoga – Aroga Yoga

Doable Yoga for Fibromyalgia – Sue Ingebretson

Health

The Low-FODMAP Diet – My Sunflower Project

“Enders is studying in Frankfurt for her medical doctorate in microbiology. She is utterly, charmingly obsessed with the gut, gut bacteria and poo. She writes and talks about her subject matter with such child-like enthusiasm, it’s infectious. And, yes, we have been pooing all wrong. Enders tells me about various studies that show that we do it more efficiently if we squat. This is because the closure mechanism of the gut is not designed to “open the hatch completely” when we’re sitting down or standing up: it’s like a kinked hose. Squatting is far more natural and puts less pressure on our bottoms. She says: “1.2 billion people around the world who squat have almost no incidence of diverticulosis and fewer problems with piles. We in the west, on the other hand, squeeze our gut tissue until it comes out of our bottoms.” Lovely.” The truth about poo: we’re doing it wrong – The Guardian

Why Your Yoga Pose Will Never Look Like the Instructor’s (and That’s Good) – Greatist

“So how do you tell a beautifully ripe cheese from a spoiled, rotten cheese? The first indication of a past-prime cheese is an ammonia smell, and the second is a breaking down of the rind, leading to colorful tufts of mold, combined with a discoloration of the paste. Each style of stinky cheese has its own “past due” indicators, but ammonia aromas and a rotting rind are universal signs of a spoiled cheese.Why Your Cheese Stinks and When it’s a Good (and Bad) Thing – Food52

Are You an Under-Eater? 8 Signs You’re Not Eating Enough- Chris Kresser

“While it was clear the intensive diet had made him feel temporarily unwell, we had to wait a few months for the results to arrive back. The results came from Cornell University in the US and the crowdfundedBritish Gut Project, which allows people to get their microbiome tested with the results shared on the web for anyone to analyze. They all told the same story: Tom’s community of gut microbes (called a microbiome) had been devastated.” I made my son eat nothing but McDonald’s for ten days to prove what fast food does to your gut – Quartz

5 Steps to Hacking and Healing Female Desire – Bulletproof Executive

Recipes

Lemon-Honeybush Iced Tea (AIP) – Petra8Paleo

Slow Cooker Moroccan Chicken – Against All Grain

Warm Porridge with Lemon and Berries – Autoimmune Paleo

Paleo Loaded Mashed Cauliflower, Why Should Potatoes Have All the Fun? – Clean Eating with a Dirty Mind

Fresh Broccoli Salad (AIP/Paleo) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change

Stacked Beet Salad with Crispy Shallots & Herb-Infused Oil – Heartbeet Kitchen

Link Love (2015-07-07)

Thought-provoking

“Let’s start with resources. Resources are not endless. Rescues exist solely because of their supporters. Decisions must be made on how to spend resources. Should you save 20 dogs with great temperaments with the time and money that you have or should you use that same time and money to save one “misunderstood” dog that mauled a child or killed another dog (in circumstances that are not extenuating)? The decision may be very clear to those with common sense. But the decision to focus on dogs with reasonably good temperaments gets questioned and condemned by so many “armchair rescuers” (see here for that explanation). Said armchair rescuers talk endlessly of “rehabilitation” and “every dog can bite” yet offer no actual options other than “help him or her”.” Can (and Should) Every Dog Be Saved – Victoria Stilwell – Positively

Esther Perel: Rethinking infidelity … a talk for anyone who has ever loved – TED

“Of all the properties that objects appear to have,” Chirimuuta writes, “color hovers uneasily between the subjective world of sensation and the objective world of fact.” The Philosophy of Color Perception – The New Republic

Build Love Maps – The Gottman Relationship Blog

“The idea is simple: treat your potential sex-partners with respect. One of the mistakes that many, many men make is that they assume that a woman who’s interested in sex is somehow ok with being treated like a sex object rather than a person. Someone who’s interested in getting down, either in the abstract or with you in particular, hasn’t miraculously given up her self-esteem. Treating her like a sure thing or that the only thing that she has to offer you is her vagina is a great way to ensure that sex will not happen – either that night or any time in the future. Whether you’ve both swiped right on Tinder, she’s checked the “casual sex” box on OKCupid or she’s generally indicated that she’s down to clown, treating her with genuine respect and an interest in her pleasure for pleasure’s sake can be the difference as to whether you’re going back to your place alone or together.” The Truth About Casual Sex (and How to Get It) – Dr NerdLove

Ten Ways to Be an Inspiring Leader – Wise Talk

Religion

“I’m going to list a few things that are awesome about a post-Christian life. None of these are why I deconverted. NONE, let me repeat! NONE NONE NONE! If I’d thought Christianity was true, then I’d have swallowed my distaste and continued despite the serious costs. What I’m about to describe are not reasons I left, but rather awesome perks now that I’ve left religion behind. I didn’t even realize fully just how awful it was to be a Christian till I got over that indoctrination. What follows here happens more in the conservative branches of Christianity than the mainstream, but I see traces of these elements in even the “nicest” branches of the religion.” Your New Life Awaits – Ex-Communications

You call for a ‘double revolution’. What do you mean by that?
What happened in Tunisia in 2010 was a political revolution driven by recognition that the state was oppressing everybody. But I think when women looked around afterwards, they recognised that the state, the street and the home still oppressed women specifically and that trifecta of oppression means that political revolution, unless accompanied by a social and sexual revolution, will fail.” Mona Eltahawy: ‘All Religions Are Obsessed With My Vagina’ – The Guardian

“Here’s what troubles me: these Christians demonstrate a profound (and dangerous!) confusion about the differences between forgiveness vs. reconciliation and forgiveness vs. accepting the reality of consequences. And THAT confusion is symptomatic of an entire system that enables abuse.” It’s Not Only About Josh Duggar, It’s Also About an Entire SYSTEM of Abuse – Elizabeth Esther

Equality

What to Do When Your Child Wants to Dress in a Gender Non-Conforming Way: 5 Alternatives to Forcing Gender Normativity on Children – Everyday Feminism

“We need to stop celebrating motherhood, as though it is a universally good and beautiful thing, and instead start celebrating good mothering practices and educating people about bad ones. We need to stop acting as though mothers are worthy of praise just because they’re mothers. There’s often this perception that people who choose not to have children are selfish while mothers are selfless, but this isn’t just simplistic, it’s wrong. There are plenty of people who have children for selfish reasons, using their children for their own self-gratification. Motherhood is not inherently selfless.” Motherhood is Not Inherently Deserving of Praise – Love, Joy, Feminism

Frustrated with Hearing “I’m Not a Feminist Since I Don’t Hate Men”? Here’s 7 Ways to Show Why Those Claims Are Sexist – Everyday Feminism

“Rape culture is a contract we never actually signed. It’s a contract that says Hey, sure, you can totally say and do anything you want to my body — you deserve it! The contract is signed for us before we are born, and it’s waved in our faces throughout our lives.
There are a lot of bylaws in this contract. Like Section I, Article 3: Do I Look Fat in This? Or Section VIII, Article 7: Your Biological Clock is Ticking and You Need To Get Knocked Up. Or Section I, Article 9: Come On, Get My Dick Wet.” Rape Culture Is a Contract We Never Actually Signed – Feministing

Beauty & Body Image

“And in the end, it all comes down to love. Food can make us feel things, things we may even mistake for love. But we make a mistake when we fundamentally change our relationship about food and rely on it as our source of comfort.
Food will never comfort you. Food says nothing about how smart you are or driven or intelligent or beautiful. Food doesn’t understand you. Food is only food. It feeds the body, it serves a purpose, but we cannot turn to it for support.” Am I Overweight, Fat or Undesirable? – Health Light Balance

9 Cardinal Sins of iPhoneography – Enlight Blog

Inspirational

What your level of sensitivity say about you – Salon

“I can go to this yoga class—force myself into these clothes, drive to the studio, roll the mat out, push my way through the poses and fight each step of the way. Or I can stay home and rest. This last thought was a surprise. One that came from a soft, gentle voice in my head, not the workhorse megaphone that usually forces me to power through. I stop to consider them both, and for the first time accept the stillness that my body and mind crave.
To feel good about this decision, I make a deal with myself—I’m not going to just zone out. If I’m not going to practice yoga on my mat, then I am going to practice it with every move I make at home, finding the beauty in the rest, being mindful with each movement, observing everything.
So I open my eyes and watch it all.” I Skipped Yoga Class and This Is What Happened – Elephant Journal

Calming Breathwork to Relax Your Body – Charlie GlickmanPhD – Make Sex Easy

Chronic Illness & Pain

4 Techniques to Help With Physical Pain – Psychology Today

“Since many people with celiac disease continue to feel sick, even when they eliminate gluten from their diet, scientists have been looking for the reason why. One theory is cross-reactivity. What does that mean? When your body develops an allergy to gluten, it creates antibodies that remember gluten’s protein structure. If you eat gluten, those antibodies set off an inflammatory response. Some other foods have similar protein structures to gluten, and you may react to those as if they were gluten. It’s basically a case of mistaken identify. It’s important to note, however, that cross-reactivity isn’t something that happens to everyone. And very few people cross-react to all of the potential foods. It’s simply something to explore when giving up gluten isn’t enough.” What Is Gluten Cross-Reactivity? – Autoimmune Paleo

10 Tips For Travelling on the AIP – Paleo Cajun Lady

“Many times when you are chronically ill there are things you want to do but because of symptoms they can be difficult. This is more so for people that have suddenly became ill and had full and busy lives before they became sick. The sudden reduction in physical activity can leave someone with a chronic illness to have feelings of guilt and feeling as if they are a burden to others. Also, many people with chronic illnesses have a people pleasing trait and have a hard time saying “No” which can sometimes leave the person with the illness physically and emotionally drained. So what do you do when the mind says yes but the body says no? Here are some tips!” When the Mind Says Yes, But the Body Says No – Fibro TV

11 Totally Natural and Completely Unexpected Ways to Ease Pain – Huffington Post

“The importance of self care has really come to the forefront in recent years, and what self care as a concept means to people can be very personal. For some, the best thing they can do to keep themselves happy is the indulgence of a massive bar of chocolate, duvet and all their favourite films, while for others it’s diligently picking the right foods and getting out for some therapeutic exercise. Often it can be a combination of approaches, and being able to identify what’s best for you at that moment is one of the key principles involved in looking after yourself.” Guest Post: Meditation and Self Care: Where to Begin – The Pillow Fort

Healthy Tricks, Treats or Treatments – Rebuilding Wellness

Health

How We’re Setting Our Kids Up to Be Fat, Sick and Unhealthy – Mark’s Daily Apple

“As the ketogenic diet gains popularity, it’s important to have a balanced discussion regarding the merits of this diet. Let me emphasize right out of the gate that this is not a diet without merits (excuse the double negative); in fact, it has significant therapeutic potential for some clinical pathologies. However, it is also a diet with inherent risk, as evidenced by the extensive list of adverse reactions reported in the scientific literature—and this has not yet been a thorough enough part of the public discussion on ketogenic diets.” Adverse Reactions to Ketogenic Diets: Caution Advised – The Paleo Mom

Secrets to a Good Night’s Sleep: Advanced Tips – Part 2 – Whole9

“Permaculture is a sustainable approach to designing natural resource systems.
Like gardens.
But permaculture principles can also be applied to biological systems (like humans) and social systems (like families and organizations).” Permaculture for People – Petra8Paleo

7 Tips for Eating Healthy When You’re Super Busy – Coconuts & Kettlebells

“The relationship between women and testosterone is poorly understood.
Testosterone is commonly blamed for libido problems… but that’s all anyone ever really talks about.
There is however a lot more to testosterone than meets the eye! Sufficient testosterone is important for mood, for energy, for cognitive function, and for overall health. Without testosterone, your energy and happiness can really suffer. How to know if you have low testosterone?” How to Know if You Have Low Testosterone – Paleo for Women

You’re Sitting on Your Toilet Wrong – Medium

Recipes

Primal Mocktails – Mark’s Daily Apple

Bacon & Guacamole Fat Bombs – The KetoDiet Blog

Victorious Offal Muffins: the Uncured Remix (AIP & Low-FODMAP) – Petra8Paleo

Coconut Milk Kefir – Wellness Mama

‘Eat a Rainbow’ Beetroot, Carrot and Herb Salad – Joanna Frankham

Grain-Free Blueberry Muffins – Maria Rickert Hong

Paleo AIP Peach Ginger Ice Cream – Phoenix Helix

Link Love (2015-07-04)

Thought-provoking

“Dear humans: What would happen if we dropped the storyline that teenaged girls are “the worst” and just let them fucking BE? Love, Janelle” Hey teenage girls: You are not the worst- renegade mothering

Manage Conflict, Part 1 – The Gottman Relationship Blog & Part 2

“Six years ago, I wrote a story for Bloomberg News about an interesting research review that looked at which studies of antidepressants such as Prozac, Paxil and Zoloft got published in medical journals and which didn’t. The review found that almost every clinical trial that got published in a medical journal—a whopping 94 percent of them—had positive findings, meaning they showed the drugs worked. Those were the studies that got published; those were the studies that doctors and patients could turn to for guidance.” Drug companies aren’t telling you the whole truth – Salon

5 Ways You Sabotage Your Love Life – Dr NerdLove

“Birth control pills and herbicides in water are known to wreak all kinds of havoc on the sexual development of aquatic life and possibly even our children, but now a researcher from University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee has found another culprit. The medicine metformin, commonly taken for Type II diabetes and found in freshwater worldwide, has been shown to cause intersex fish – males that can produce eggs. Male fish are not supposed to be able to produce eggs.” Common drug in waste-water is surprising reason behind gender-bending fish – Treehugger

701: “How do I care for my ill and grieving mom when I am stretched so thin myself?” – Captain Awkward

Equality

“We need to be careful to make sure we’re teaching our daughters “and” rather than “or.” Pushing girls away from “boy” things is a problem, yes—a big problem—but pushing girls away from “girl” things is also a problem. We need to make sure we are not giving our daughters the message that things that are pink, or ruffly, or jeweled are somehow inferior. If we do, they might get the idea that if they like those things, they’re inferior too.” The Tomboy in Skirts – Love, Joy, Feminism

Alice Goffman: How we’re priming some kids for college – and others for prison – TED

“We are subjected to a steady stream of news about judges who clearly hold seriously outdated and biased ideas about sex, gender, violence, and rape.
Judges who call 13-year-olds sexual predators who “target” 41-year-old abusers. Judges who, in order to excuse the behavior of adult men, grapple to pinpoint that elusive moment when a girl child becomes a scheming woman who is fair game for rapists.
Although, some don’t even disguise their efforts, such as the lawyer in Texas I can’t get out of my head, who compared an 11-year old gang-raped by almost two dozen men to a “spider” that “lured” them into her dangerous sexual web.” It’s Not ‘Forced Sex’, It’s Rape – and Why Not Calling It That Is Dangerous – Everyday Feminism

Derail – Robot Hugs

“About three years ago, Sophia’s mother and, then, Anna’s mother found the blog I write about raising my gender nonconforming son, and they wanted their sons to meet and know another boy who was a girl at heart. C.J. loves his boy body and thinks it’s the perfect house for his girl heart and girl brain. He knows what it means to be transgender (when a person’s sex and gender are at odds) and what it means to be cisgender (when a person’s sex and gender align) and he says he’s neither. That makes him gender creative.” How I Told My Son His Friends Are Transgender – Yahoo

7 Everyday Things Poor People Worry About that Rich People Never Do – Everyday Feminism

Beauty & Body Image

“To love yourself you must first decide to be kind to ourselves. Without kindness, we will never make positive change. If we treat ourselves like bullies, we will only fail, because we will have half of ourselves rooting against us.
We have to have our minds and hearts aligned with our bodies how they are now in order to truly love ourselves.” 4 Tips to Accepts and Love Yourself at Any Size – Health Light Balance

Does it Fit vs. Does it Work – Already Pretty

“Rather, breast policing is a highly subjective form of gender control in terms of which breasts, whose breasts, the size of breasts, the shape of breasts, the color of breasts, the usage of said breasts in the moment, and probably something about nipples.” If You Need Proof that Breast Policing is Ridiculous, Look No Further than These 4 Examples from Facebook – Everyday Feminism

Flower Sack Dresses From the Flour Mills (Historical Kindness) – Kindness Blog

Inspirational

“When we hug, our hearts connect and we know that we are not separate beings.” The Great Zen Buddhist Teacher Thich Nhat Hanh on How to Do “Hugging Meditation” – Brain Pickings

How to practice mindfulness meditation – Business Insider

“If we didn’t give the body a rest at night, it wouldn’t function very long. The only time the mind can have a real rest is when it stops thinking and only experiences. Once verbalization stops for a moment, not only is there quiet but there is a feeling of contentment. That quiet, peaceful space is the mind’s home. It can go home and relax just as we do after a day’s work when we relax the body in an easy chair.” Give Your Mnd a Rest: Practice Not-Thinking – Psychology Today

How to Stop Giving a F*ck What People Think – LifeHacker

“If you’ve ever been told that you are too much.
Too big.
Too bright.
Too intense.
If you’ve ever been made to feel that you need to dull down your brightness, your beauty.
To dumb down your words.
To fit into a box that is much too small for the magnificence of your being.
That somehow, by being the person that you are, you believe that you’ll snatch that opportunity away from everyone else.” If You’ve Ever Been Told You’re Too Much – Danielle Dowling

Chronic Illness & Pain

3 Ways to Weather the Internal Storm of Chronic Pain & Not Let It Define You – The Princess in the Tower

“Many of us who suffer from chronic painand illness are on medications with side-effects that, in some cases, are as difficult to cope with as our initial health problems.” How to Cope with Side-Effects of Medications – Psychology Today

Relaxation Rehabilitation Part Four: How to Rest and Make It Fun – Grace Quantock

“New research discovers that individuals who live with daily pain often face a struggle with their sense of self and find it difficult to prove the legitimacy of their condition.” Living with Chronic Pain Challenges Sense of Self – Psych Central

Eight Ways to Deal with Chronic Pain – Washington Post

“At first, I actually didn’t make the connection, and I genuinely considered going to the ER. It was only later, after calming down, that I realized that my caffeine intake was causing me to have the worst panic attacks of my life.” Anxiety Guinea Pig – Part 1 – Caffeine – Stepping Over Me

Coping With Chronic Pain – Health.com

Health

10 Natural Remedies for Eczema – Mommypotamus

“Because when I began studying at The Restorative Exercise Institute, the VERY FIRST THING that one must do is to correct one’s stance. The feet are naturally supposed to be lined up straight using the outside edges, like this:” When Pigeon-Toed Isn’t – Move Your Body Better

Cheese: the secret to longer life and faster metabolism? – Telegraph

“Your shoulders and back might have been fine the week before and suddenly, boom, there is pain. The pain didn’t come because you carried your baby more than usual. Well, it did. Kind of. Really, the pain came because you’ve been carrying your baby (and your own body) in a tissue damaging way from the start. And that one day, your body thought now is ENOUGH!” The baby that broke the mom’s back OR how to get stronger while holding baby – Kangaroo

5 Reasons You Can’t Sleep at Night – Coconuts & Kettlebells

We have to face facts first: genetics and the habits we were brought up with do matter. Whether they are healthy habits or unhealthy habits, learned from great parents or parents who didn’t pass along a solid foundation – they matter. Maybe you have anger management issues like your dad, a sugar addiction like your mom, or you had parents who struggled to hold a job (or, parents who are doctors or scientists)!” Have Your Parents Decided Your Fitness Fate? – Nerd Fitness

Is Heartburn Caused by “Leaky Esophagus”? – Chris Kresser

Recipes

Roasted Carrots with Carrot Top Pesto (Autoimmune Paleo) – Joy-filled Nourishment

Homemade Bratwurst (AIP) – Enjoying this Journey

Panfried Sardines (from Nourish) – Beyond the Bite

The Morning Cocktail I Drink Instead of Coffee – Tim Ferriss

Moroccan-Inspired Broccoli Salad – Autoimmune Paleo

Yogurt Panna Cotta with Honey-Roasted Strawberries – Nourished Kitchen

Link Love (2015-06-27)

Thought-provoking

“To sit with empathy and compassion with people is so, so hard. It physically hurts at times, and when it hurts, for some of us, our reaction is to instantly make it stop and to bat it away, dismiss it or ignore it. It’s a defense mechanism.” Why Being a Mother Can Be an Ugly Business: The practice of empathy and compassion – Lottie Ryan

The 4 Most Common Relationship Problems – And How to Fix Them – Observer

“Giving up corporal punishment was easy. It’s giving up the rest—the myriad ways parents can be punitive and negative in their parenting—that is difficult. Not physically abusing a child is so much easier than not emotionally abusing them.” Parenting Positively Means Much More than Not Hitting – Love, Joy, Feminism

Why Setting Boundaries in Relationships Are So Important – Jennifer Twardowski

“FACT NUMBER 2. You don’t need everyone to like you.
This stuff is crazy, I know, but it’s cool, you’ll get used to it. Here’s the next thing: not only do most people not know that you exist, and some are judging you, but it totally does not matter even if they are.
How liberating this is may not even hit you yet, but it will. Check this out: when people don’t like you, nothing actually happens. The world does not end. You don’t feel them breathing down your neck. In fact, the more you ignore them and just go about your business, the better off you are.” The Complete Guide to Not Giving a Fuck – In Over Your Head

Religion

“Some may ask why I’m bringing this up now, at a time when the region has risen up, fueled not by the usual hatred of America and Israel but by a common demand for freedom. After all, shouldn’t everyone get basic rights first, before women demand special treatment? And what does gender, or for that matter, sex, have to do with the Arab Spring? But I’m not talking about sex hidden away in dark corners and closed bedrooms. An entire political and economic system — one that treats half of humanity like animals — must be destroyed along with the other more obvious tyrannies choking off the region from its future. Until the rage shifts from the oppressors in our presidential palaces to the oppressors on our streets and in our homes, our revolution has not even begun.” Why Do They Hate Us? – Foreign Policy

Equality

“I’m sure both of these people are smart, engaged and not deliberately or actively sexist – but when your worldview is solely shaped by men, you are missing out. And like it or not, your taste in music, books, television or art says something about you: it sends a message about what you think is worth your time, what you think is interesting and who you think is smart. So if the only culture you pay attention to is created by men, or created by white people, you are making an explicit statement about who and what is important.” You might not think you’re sexist – until you take a look at your bookshelf – Jessica Valenti – The Guardian

3 Well-Meaning Assumptions About Women You Never Realized Were Sexist – Everyday Feminism

“Manicurists are routinely underpaid and exploited, and endure ethnic bias and other abuse” The Price of Nice Nails – The New York Times

Pregnant 10-year-old rape victim denied abortion by Paraguyan authorities – The Guardian

““Choice feminism” — the idea that feminism means women can individually choose whatever they wish andconsider it an inherently feminist act — is certainly an insidious outgrowth of the commodification of empowerment. “You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby” has come a long way, branching out into various manifestations of neo-”girl power” and pseudo-feminism promulgated by corporations like Unilever in its many Dove commercials, as well as adverts for makeup and shampoo that seem to subtly sell empowerment as well as a greasy bit of beauty product.” Choice feminism: Time to ‘choose’ another argument – Feministing

As Boko Haram Kidnapping Victims Are Rescued, Many of them Are Pregnant. Why Isn’t Anyone Talking About Their Right to Abortion – Cosmopolitan

Chronic Illness & Pain

Energy Economy – 10 Ways to COMBAT Cognitive Dysfunction (Brain Fog, Fibro Fog) – Laina Laughing

“Exercising with a chronic illness is a battlefield. You know you should do it. It’s part of a healthy lifestyle. But you also know it could make things worse. Like biking 60km without training and becoming bedridden for the next week worse(I maybe did this). So how can you reap the benefits of exercise without living in fear of harming your body and aggravating your symptoms? You want me to make it easy for you, don’t you? You say to yourself- this is a yoga blog! You are going to tell me to do yoga! But you can’t outsmart me this time lassies. You are going to have to put in some work to make exercise help you. It requires paying attention, and being fully present when you are moving. We’ve all been told to ‘listen to our bodies’. And it works, to listen to your body- you can stop when you need to stop and push on when you need to push on. But how do you develop this secret ‘body sense’ that some people seem to have so down, while you seem to overdo it almost every time? For me, the answer is mindfulness. When you use mindfulness in exercise you’ll be able to listen to your body, and with continued practice, find yourself more in sync with what your bod is craving.” What Is Mindful Yoga – Aroga Yoga

Tools to Cope With the Stress of Chronic Pain & Ease Difficult Thinking – The Princess in the Tower

“It’s interesting that two of the three aspects of our experience of bodily discomfort are mental in origin! These two mental aspects are often referred to as “mental suffering.” They can make our physical suffering worse because mental reactions are felt in the body.” How Mindfulness Can Help With Physical Suffering – Psychology Today

Is it possible to heal depression and anxiety with yoga? – CBS News

““Again” is a pain amplifier.
As if the pain wasn’t already painful enough, we add another layer of pain on top of it all. And instead of the relatively clean pain of failing, feeling a feeling, or thinking about what others thing – we make the pain dirty by blending in our self-worth issues and insecurities. We make it all about us, instead of about the situation.” Are you Amplifying your Pain? – The Freedom Experiment

Relaxation Rehabilitation Part Three: Solutions for Resting Problems – Grace Quantock

Health

Energizing Morning Stretching Routine – Paleo Hacks

For me, paleo is about relaxing into my body, not seizing control and making it do my bidding. It’s about listening, and empathy, and stillness. So much of our culture in America is obsessed with doing. Something I very much aspire to is being. I want to be less of a human doing, and more of a human being. I believe this is a very important aspect of our humanity that gets ignored because it does not sell. It is not sexy. It is not flashy.
But it is the bomb.What Paleo Means to Me – Paleo for Women

Health Benefits of Homemade Ginger Tea – Vital Plan

“When we go to sleep at night, we lie in bed with the intent to fall into a deep slumber until the morning. However, if we’re snorers, this can mean another sleepless night for our bed partners — until now. According to a recent study published in the journal CHEST, practicing oropharyngeal (mouth and tongue) exercises can significantly reduce snoring frequency for patients with primary snoring or mild obstructive sleep apnea (OSA).” Cures For Snoring: Mouth and Tongue Exercises That’ll Help You Stop Snoring For Better Sleep – Medical Daily

Fixing Flat Feet – Yes You Can – Movement Revolution

“The fact is, eating isn’t a simple enterprise anymore. As with many things in life these days, we can feel like we know too much. This kind of food destroys the forests. That type of food is harvested by people who live in these unjust conditions. If you buy X product, you’re supporting this destructive agricultural or trade practice. And that doesn’t even touch the less political, more personal shaming inherent in those heinous and blistering assumptions like “Well, if you had any respect for your body you wouldn’t touch that,” or “You really must not care what you look like.” I’d say to avoid hanging out with these people at all costs, but the fact is, our worst critics are often ourselves.” Food Shame: The Morality of Eating – Mark’s Daily Apple

How to Eat Raw Eggs Safely – Empowered Sustenance

Recipes

Sweet Dreams Tea – Mommypotamus

Dairy Free Iced Maple Chai Latte – Naturally Loriel

Farmer’s Market Risotto with Spring Onion, Fresh Peas, and Mint – Nourished Kitchen

Guest Post by Martine Partridge – Blueberry Cheesecake Bites (Autoimmune Protocol-Friendly) – The Paleo Mom

Honey Sweetened Rhubarb Fig Jam (pectin-free) – Heartbeet Kitchen

Key Lime Pie (paleo, dairy free, nut free, AIP) – Pure and Simple Recipes

Link Love (2015-06-20)

Thought-provoking

“It made me think … about a lot of things, really. About what makes an act “feminist,” and whether it is more “feminist” to be able to be fully financially self-sufficient, or to write and research a feminist book. (And I do think that to some degree – or at some points in the process, at least – these acts are mutually exclusive.) But it also made me think about the question I ask in the title of this post – about who gets to be an artist, and the conditions required to make art.” Who Gets to Be an Artist? – Musings of an Inappropriate Woman

If my dogs were middle-aged men – Oatmeal

“I identify as high-functioning. It is a way to defend myself—if having gone to Yale will not save me, being declared high-functioning will—both to others and to myself. When a meme of a chart appears in my Facebook news feed, demonstrating the “advantages” of having various psychiatric disorders—depressives see more deeply, manic-depressives are creative thinkers—I roll my eyes; I know before finishing the chart that unlike the fastidiousness of people with obsessive-compulsive disorder, there will be no so-called schizophrenic advantage. If an illness has no benefits, it only erases. But if someone with that illness can be called high-functioning, the anxiety surrounding the sick person diminishes.” On mental illness & being “high-functioning” – Esmé Weijun Wang

Unfuck Your Habitat Fundamentals – Unfuck Your Habitat

“In the ideal described by some in the organic movement, the most humane way to raise the chickens is on a pasture rather than in a cramped barn. On pasture, chickens can engage in their natural behavior of scratching at the ground and uncovering bugs – a potentially critical source of protein.
This method of raising chickens is rare, but advocates say the availability of pasture could help resolve the methionine deficit – the birds would get proteins from bugs.” People love chickens that are “vegetarian fed”. But chickens are not vegetarians – Washington Post

Creating Rituals of Connection in Your Marriage – St. Louis Magazine

Equality

What Would Happen If We Treated Male Politicians Like We Treat Female Politicians? – Everyday Feminism

“I didn’t have some sort of specific or moral goal when I decided to read only the work of women for a year. Rather, I just thought, “I’m a woman and a writer and I’d like to support the work of other women writers.” I feel like the literary world is still so heavily dominated by men and I wanted to focus on ladies for a bit. I thought it might help me discover some books I might not have found had I not embarked on this female-centric mission.” I Spent a Year Reading Only Books by Women and I Think It Changed My Life – xoJane

Who Are the Rightful Owners of Artifacts of Oppression? – Hyperallergic

“If you identify with a marginalized group, are an ally to a marginalized group, or somehow mysteriously find yourself in a liberal arts program, you’ve probably received the following illogical backlash when you’ve spoken up against problematic beliefs, statements, or jokes:
“You took that wrong.”
“You’re not getting what I’m saying.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You’re blowing this out of proportion.”
“Lighten up. It was just a joke.”
All of these responses, however, translate into the exact same thing: “I have no logical reasoning or factual basis to back up my stupid ass claims, so now I’m going to make a last-ditch effort to mask that truth by attacking you.”” Why People Shouldn’t Tell You That ‘You Took That Wrong’ (and 4 Ways You Can Respond) – Everyday Feminism

Nurse Bullying and Hazing – The Truth About Nurse Culture – Marie Claire

“Our prehistoric forebears are often portrayed as spear-wielding savages, but the earliest human societies are likely to have been founded on enlightened egalitarian principles, according to scientists.
A study has shown that in contemporary hunter-gatherer tribes, men and women tend to have equal influence on where their group lives and who they live with. The findings challenge the idea that sexual equality is a recent invention, suggesting that it has been the norm for humans for most of our evolutionary history.” Early men and women were equal, says scientists – The Guardian

Beauty & Body Image

“Think hard about WHY you hate certain aspects of your physical self. Did someone insult you once, or call you out for some distinctive trait? Have fashion mags given you a complex with endless articles about firming up your arms and abs? (This one definitely gets me.) Or do you dislike these traits in other people as much as you dislike them in yourself?
Self-love isn’t about brushing the bits you hate under the rug. There is no rug. Loving what we hate is incredibly challenging, and sometimes actual love is impossible, but acceptance will do just fine. Even if none of my ideas ring true for you, give some thought to actions and thought patterns that might move you closer to accepting your whole self with affection. The work might be hard, but the payoff will be so very, very worth it. Just think of all the extra energy you’d have if you stopped burning it off loathing your big nose, bad hair, weak chin. You could take over the damned world.” Affection for the Unchangeable – Already Pretty

The Minimal Closet: Size, Transitions & Sunk Cost – Grechen’s Closet

Inspirational

“Sometimes when we need extra self-care because we’re absolutely exhausted or struggling with something difficult, we get down on ourselves. We think about all the things we “should” be. We should be more productive. We should be less “dramatic,” less sensitive to everything. We should need less tending. We should be stronger.” Reminders for the Days You Need Extra Self-Care – Weightless

55 gentle ways to take care of yourself when you’re busy – The Freedom Experiment

My puppy Freya has been a great teacher as well.
“Which leads me to the fifth lesson: dogs know how to let go. Well, maybe not of a bone, but of grudges, attachments, and feelings.
Within two minutes of me scolding Bella for eating my ear-buds, she was right back on my lap and begging for playtime and attention.
She somehow understood that my “No” said in anger was only a temporary thing. She didn’t add any story to it. She didn’t turn it into the idea that from now on I hated her.
This lesson really got me looking at the places in my life where I could consider letting go. Where was I hanging on to a moment in time and carrying it with me into the future?” Pearls of Puppy Wisdom: 7 Lessons from a Furry Little Sage – Tiny Buddha

Chronic Pain & Illness

Relaxation Rehabilitation: Part One – Grace Quantock

“Constantly coping with pain, hiding its intensity from others and trying to maintain hope despite so many fears, makes living with pain a tricky business [and a highly one stressful too].
Add the seemingly endless cornucopia of symptoms of CRPS and fibromyalgia, which include energy-zapping fatigue, nausea, pain-wired insomnia, and a brain that’s so clogged with fog – it’s a wonder we manage at all – and it swiftly becomes clear that anything which helps us see the lighter side of life is essential.
Whatever the cause of your pain, the old aphorism is a true one: laughter is powerful medicine and having a giggle really does help you cope with chronic illness and can even reduce your pain. Aside from the accompanying joy and relaxation, which is always key in lowering pain levels, laughter also releases those happy chemicals that are even more vital for chronic pain patients.” Why Laughter is the Best Medicine When You Live in Pain – The Princess in the Tower

This Is Why It Hurts When You Say These Things to People With Chronic Pain (and Some Ideas on How to Support Instead) – Everyday Feminism

4. Take advantage of your best time of day.
You may notice that mental tasks are easier during certain hours, so if you can, do your most important activities then. I am slow to wake and know not to hop right out of bed and try to drive somewhere because I could get lost then. It is also unwise for me to attempt something mentally taxing after supper. Ideally, I try to be productive beginning approximately three hours into my day. That is when errands, phone calls and social activity work best for me.”10 Tips for Navigating Your Way Through Brain Fog – But You Don’t Look Sick

Energy Economy – 10 Ways to COPE With Cognitive Dysfunction (Brain Fog, Fibro Fog) – Laina Laughing

“Good chronic pain treatment can be hard to find. A chronic pain patient has every right to believe that his or her doctor will listen sympathetically and prescribe the appropriate treatment, but that is not always the reality. Truth is, many doctors have not been trained to deal with the complex, changing area of chronic pain treatment. One 2001 survey of primary care physicians’ attitudes toward prescribing certain medications found that only 15% said they enjoyed working with patients who have chronic pain.
This can lead to frustrating encounters at the primary-care level, especially if your doctor is rushed. “How to Get Your Doctor to Take Your Pain Seriously – Health.com

Key 4: Nurture Yourself With Pre-emptive Rest – SFIDS & Fibromyalgia Self-Help

Health

7 Amazing Benefits of Maca – Paleo Hacks

“Today, three ways to unsquish your toes. The ones that have been deformed by those narrow toe boxes. Below, a stretch, an exercise, and a shortcut! Do all three daily for best results.” Unsquish Your Toes – Movement Revolution

A Guide for Poor Sleepers with Overactive Minds – Tiny Buddha

“The health benefits of Cedarwood Essential Oil can be attributed to its properties as an antiseborrhoeic, antiseptic, antispasmodic, tonic, astringent, diuretic, emenagogue, expectorant, insecticidal, sedative and fungicidal substance.” Health Benefits of Cedarwood Essential Oil – Organic Facts

7 Reasons We’re Drinking Collagen Daily – Beauty Bets

“White noise is actually machine-generated static that is used to mask annoying or distracting sounds. It works by combining all the frequencies we can hear – about 20,000 tones – into one sound. Basically, it’s the equivalent of a huge orchestra all playing a different note at once. What you get is not music, but a wall of sound that blocks other sound.
Of course, few of us (if any) can relax to the sound of scratchy static generated by a radio, or any other form. White noise manufacturers know that, so they embed the static within sound clips of waves or rain to make it more palatable. Though it seems like a sensible solution, this approach may actually cause several problems:” Why I Ditched My White Noise Machine – Mommypotamus

Three Reasons You Need More Time in the Forest – Autoimmune Paleo

Recipes

Turmeric Tonic Kombucha – Autoimmune Paleo

9 Tips for Successful Fermentation – Savory Lotus

Morning Glory Cookies (Paleo, AIP) – The Paleo Partridge

Mini Chocolate Tartlets (Paleo, Sweetener free!) – The Primitive Homemaker

Make Green Pesto from Just About Anything With These Ratios – LifeHacker

AIP Raspberry Crumble – Strictly Delicious

BBQ Pork Buns (AIP/Paleo) – Sweet Potatoes and Social Change

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