“Dialing down the criticism and saying “I love you” goes a long way. But so does adding the secret ingredient of speaking to the specifics of what you love and admire. For every specific criticism or correction you make, add a specific positive comment.” Why ‘I Love You’ Isn’t Enough – Psychology Today
“Hi. My name is Zoe, and I make weird video games with some degree of success (and make them playable for free, if you’re so inclined). My life is generally pretty uncomplicated, I guess, aside from the fact that a month ago the Internet decided to make me the center of a supposed global conspiracy. I made the mistake of dating a guy who would later go on to write a several-act manifesto about my alleged sex life and post it to every forum he could create a handle for. Normally, this would blow over with little more than a “whoa, check out THAT guy,” but since I work in an industry that has very strong feelings about women, it quickly mutated from a jilted ex’s revenge-porn to one of the most intense scandals in recent gaming history.
Long story short, the Internet spent the last month spreading my personal information around, sending me threats, hacking anyone suspected of being friends with me, calling my dad and telling him I’m a whore, sending nude photos of me to colleagues, and basically giving me the “burn the witch” treatment. During all of this, I found that …” 5 Things I Learned as the Internet’s Most Hated Person – Cracked
“So what did we learn from all of this? Mostly that women are not to be treated like people, they’re to be treated like a code that can be cracked, a trick that can be learned or a piece of machinery that can be mastered, which is why there are so many manuals. Never assume that the rules of approaching and talking to a friend or relative also apply to the rules of approaching a woman. They don’t. They’re like aliens, and it’s up to you to learn all of their tricks. They are fickle, confusing beasts with difficult, intimidating and sometimes, yes, scary genitalia. The vagina is like a Rubik’s Cube, except you can’t peel all the stickers off and cheat to win. (Unless- Ladies, is that- Would you be into that? In the your-vagina-is-a-Rubik’s-Cube simile does sticker-rearranging correspond to something pleasurable?)” How to Talk to Women (According to the Internet) – Cracked
“There is in our culture a general assumption that women will make sacrifices for their families in a way men won’t. Now it’s true that being a mother often demands sacrifice. There are plenty of times I put aside work to spend time with my children, and I’m happy to do so—I find time spent with my children rewarding and value building relationships. Just the other day I was talking about this with a colleague who empathized and spoke about also setting aside career-advancing work to spend time on the weekends with his children—wait, did I say his? Yes, yes I did. It turns out families frequently involve two parents—and it turns out that being a father can involve sacrifice too.
Why is it that women are expected to sacrifice for their children in a way men aren’t? Why not expect parents in general to sacrifice for their children, sharing the burden of housework and childcare and together bonding and spending time with their children?” On Sam Harris, Pregnancy, and Sacrifices – Love, Joy, Feminism
“The one thing – the ONLY thing – you must do, is find out what works for you.
Find what lights you up, what makes you laugh, what feels like freedom. What feels like love. Find your YES!
And then squeeze the freakin’ living daylights out of THAT.” the one thing you must do – Sas Petherick
“We need to encourage frank dialogue around men’s emotions and sexual behaviour. Having spent a lot of time in secondary schools, speaking to students, I believe that the inhibitions we’ve inherited about opening up are causing a vacuum – one that is being filled by damaging behaviour, particularly in the case of male adolescents.” 10 years of sobriety: what I’ve learned about Irish male emotions – Irish Times
“On some level age segregation makes sense: People of different ages do tend to want some different things. College students want to stay up late and pair off with each other; seniors understandably crave peace and quiet. But it also has costs: It can sow distrust and prejudice between generations, and robs people of the chance to learn from those younger and older than them. Kids, the research indicates, develop important skills by interacting with adults and making friends of different ages, while the elderly have been shown to benefit from spending time around children. There is also evidence that age segregation can affect the economic well-being of a community by making people from different age groups blind to each other’s needs.” What ‘age segregation ‘ does to America – The Globe
“But that is failing to understand – or refusing to understand – the actual nature of an abusive relationship.
Abuse is not just physical. Many abusive relationships don’t include physical violence at all.
An abusive relationship is not about violence; it is about power and control.
It is not about how many times you hit your partner, or insulted your partner, or whether your partner strikes back.
It is about the systematic use, over a prolonged period of time, of a variety of tactics intended to keep the abused partner in his or her place, which is wherever the abuser declares it to be (and always in a subservient position).
Not every psychologically abusive relationship culminates in physical violence.
But every physically abusive relationship begins with psychological abuse.” the woman in the water: how domestic abuse is psychological abuse – Justine Musk
“But once you rule out how some have behaved toward me because of my unbelief, I have to say that (when I am not working too much) I am enjoying life in a way that I haven’t enjoyed it in a long time. It’s not always about what I’m doing at the time, either. Often it’s just about feeling more at home in my own skin than I ever felt when I still believed that Earth is not my home and that I’m supposed to be longing for some other place. To explain what I mean, here is a list of the things which leaving my religion has brought me. Not everyone will necessarily experience the same things I did, but these are the benefits that I see I personally have derived from this development:” What Leaving My Religion Did for Me – Godless in Dixie
“Mother or not, you are positioned in relation to motherhood. The existence of birth control has not even allowed us to make the choice between being seen as a mother and being seen as an independent person; we can only choose between being seen as a mother and being seen as a non-mother. Either way we are defined by our capacity to produce someone else, someone who may be worth more than us; we are insufficient in and of ourselves.” Our culture dehumanises women by reducing them all to breeders and non-breeders – New Statesman
“But with the wise understanding that women’s internal barriers are a result of our culture and our history, the same retreat becomes an important gathering where women let go of the limiting inner imprints their culture and history have left inside of them. It becomes a powerful juncture where they can begin to replace that imprint with something healed and empowered and whole. They do this as trailblazers, going forward in undo inner limitations that hold countless women back, so that they can lead in creating a new future for all of us.
What might this mean for you? On an individual level, if you think of working on your inner critic only as work on your unique neurosis, you are robbing yourself of the real power and meanning of that work. What I’d want for you instead, is that you remember that unbridling yourself from self-doubt is part of a collective unbridling, a part of women leaving behind a dark period of our history.” What’s missing from our women, confidence & careers conversation – Tara Sophia Mohr
“Negative self-talk only keeps us stuck, spinning our wheels, sinking deeper and deeper into the mud and muck. Calling ourselves stupid over and over doesn’t help us learn from a mistake or see anything clearly.
It paralyzes us. It keeps us ruminating about our inadequacies with no forward movement or growth.
But here’s a fact (an actual one): It doesn’t have to be like this. We can create a kinder dialogue. We can talk to ourselves in a patient, supportive, empowering way. Each of us has the permission to do so.” Transforming Unhealthy Self-Talk -Weightless
“So let’s assume for the sake of argument that impure motives led me to question my faith. Go ahead and assume away. That’s still unrelated to whether or not invisible spirits really exist. This is a classic protective mechanism which all vulnerable ideologies must employ in order to defend themselves from hostile invaders (like critical thinking and empiricism). I’ve decided I just don’t care to engage this argument anymore because I’ve seen it for what it is. It’s a brilliant and effective diversionary maneuver like the pyrotechnics of Bruce Wayne, the vulnerable human cloaked in millions of dollars worth of kevlar and black paint. But it’s a change of subject every time, and I’m not falling for it anymore. You shouldn’t, either.” Changing the Subject – Godless in Dixie
“And, again, what Sarkeesian is doing is standard pop culture criticism, of the kind that films and books have been subjected to for decades – and TvsWVG is pretty good. It’s thorough and accessible, and it’s both a good introduction to the concept of feminist cultural criticism and an example of the increasing respect that games receive as an artform. The world was a very tedious place when all people asked was whether games were art at all; now that we know that they are, in their place come both external critiques (which includes TvsWVG) and intelligent responses from the industry itself (such as Jonathan Blow’s Braid, a platformer which deconstructs the “damsel in distress” trope).” Tropes vs Anita Sarkeesian: on passing off anti-feminist nonsense as critique – New Statesman
“Because as Roberts rightly points out, there’s a significant difference between history as written and history as happened, with a further dissonance between both those states and history as it’s popularly perceived. For instance: female pirates – and, indeed, female pirates of colour – are very much an historical reality. The formidable Ching Shih, a former prostitute, commanded more than 1800 ships and 80,000 pirates, took on the British empire and was successful enough to eventually retire. There were female Muslim pirates and female Irish pirates – female pirates, in fact, from any number of places, times and backgrounds. But because their existence isn’t routinely taught or acknowledged, we assume them to be impossible. The history of women in the sciences is plagued by similar misconceptions, their vital contributions belittled, forgotten and otherwise elided for so many years that even now, the majority of them continue to be overlooked. Ada Lovelace and Marie Curie are far from being exceptions to the rule: Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin, Leise Meitner and Emmy Noether all contributed greatly to our understanding of science, as did countless others. And in the modern day, young female scientists abound despite the ongoing belief in their rarity: nineteen-year-old Aisha Mustafa has patented a new propulsion system for spacecraft, while a young group of Nigerian schoolgirls recently invented a urine-powered generator. Even the world’s first chemist was a woman.” PSA: Your Default Narrative Settings Are Not Apolitical – shattersnipe
“I mean, think about it. You might not be happy with something in your life right now (your job, your home, your relationship, your health), and you’ve probably racked your brains trying to come up with a solution. So when you start confiding in someone about it, and they just come back with a throw away “If you’re not happy, change it!”, then you’re gonna be pretty damn pissed.” Why “If you’re not happy, change it” is the worst piece of advice… ever – Kim Lawler
“Now, I don’t want anyone to think that I’m opposed to complaining as such. Complaining can be a great tool for initiating change and if we outlaw complaining in the workplace, as some managers try to do, all we do is drive it underground where it becomes even more toxic.
So we should accept that complaining plays an important role in business, but the key thing here is to know the difference between constructive andunconstructive complaining.” How to complain constructively – The Chief Happiness Officer Blog
“The first thing that strikes me about Prof. Goldman’s discussion of revenge porn (and this is true of many discussions of the issue) is the failure to note its gendered dimensions. This is despite the fact that empirical evidence so far indicates that revenge porn is primarily produced and consumed by men and primarily targets women. Revenge porn belongs to that class of activities that includes rape, domestic violence, and sexual harassment – that is, the class of activities overwhelmingly (though of course not solely) perpetrated by men and directed overwhelmingly (again, not solely) at women. Like those activities, one major effect of revenge porn is to limit women’s freedom to live their lives: it punishes women and girls for engaging in activities that their male counterparts regularly undertake with minimal negative (and often positive) consequences.” Adventures in Victim Blaming: Revenge Porn Edition – Concurring Opinions
“So with all of that in mind, let’s dive in. I want to warn you in advance: you’re about to have a lot of your ideas ripped apart. Try to keep in mind: this isn’t an attack on you, it’s about dismantling and correcting a lot of mistakes, biases and assumptions that you and a lot of other people have, too. And hey, I may well be wrong on some of these, so I encourage folks to discuss this in the comments.” “Yo, Is This Sexist?” – A Conversation About Feminism and Sexism – Paging Dr NerdLove
“If you get ahead for years and years because you got dealt good cards, it’s not particularly likely that you will learn that in the real world, achievement is based as much on attitude and effort as it is on natural advantages. In the real world, Nobel prizes and Broadway roles and the senior VP job go to people who have figured out how to care, how to show up, how to be open to new experiences. Our culture is built around connection and charisma and learning and the ability to not quit in precisely the right moments.
But that’s not easy to sort for in school, so we take a shortcut and resort to trivial measures instead.
What if we celebrated the students who regularly try the hardest, help each other the most and lead? What if we fast tracked those students, and made it clear to anyone else willing to adopt those attitudes that they could be celebrated too?” The wasteful fraud of sorting for youth meritocracy – Seth’s Blog
“2. Because misguided or not, those twenty years of my life were sincere and passionate and a very important part of my life. How would you like it if someone took an eraser to two decades of your life, telling you they were illegitimate? Through those years, I came to know both the Bible and the Christian message very well, and that earns me a place at the table of discussing religion in a public setting. I am not approaching these matters as an outsider. I come to this table as one who has earned the right to say something about modern American evangelicalism. So of course it bothers me when someone pretends those years never even happened. That discredits my contribution to the discussion. It disenfranchises people like me so that our voice doesn’t have to be heard. That’s not playing fair, and it limits what you can learn from people like me. In other words, nobody benefits from this tactic, and you’ve just lost any chance you might have had of discovering something new and expanding your own ideological horizons.”You Were Never Really One of Us – Godless in Dixie
“When everyone smiles at my son, offering compliments, they teach him that the world is a friendly place and he is welcome in it. That is a good thing of course. Is every baby treated this way? Many are. But I can’t help but wonder: what about the babies with some kind of visible difference or physical challenge, or those with Down Syndrome? Are they looked at and responded to in the same way? Or are there subtle glances, evasions, and movements that send less welcoming messages to them? These questions are important because identities do not pre-exist such social interactions but are created within and through them. Parents and caregivers have the greatest influence, but the world at large is made through our visual and physical engagements with it. We do not control these engagements, especially not during childhood.” Appearance Makes the World – Feminist Figure’s Blog
“1. Be Gentle
If there was just one thing I wish I could have learned earlier in life it would have been to BE GENTLE – with myself, with others, with the past, with the future, with the present.
I spent so much of my 20’s beating myself up for not having everything “figured out.” But discovering how to be truly happy isn’t as easy as everyone says it is and it’s even harder when we’re chasing an imaginary version of “perfect.”
The truth is, you’re going to fall down, get hurt, feel afraid, do things you don’t want to, or wish you hadn’t. It’s just part of the human experience. Learn to be gentle with yourself. Learn how to comfort and soothe yourself. Treat yourself as you would your own precious child. Life is so much easier when we’re nice to ourselves.” Notes To My Younger Self – Beautiful Living
“Feelings and emotions are messengers. They ask for our attention and when given, bring information about ourselves, our world and how things are going. While I have some preferred emotions, I don’t think of any of them as inherently bad. And until we hear them, they will up the ante of being heard- often in ways that would have us wish we’d listened to them in the first place.” I’m Not Fearless, Nor Do I Want To Be – Randi Buckley
“And there she goes, that “too much” woman, making people think too much, feel too much, swoon too much. She with her authentic prose & a self-assuredness in the way she carries herself. She with her belly laughs & her insatiable appetite & her proneness to fiery passion. All eyes on her, thinking she’s hot shit.
Oh, that “too much” woman. . . too loud, too vibrant, too honest, too emotional, too smart, too intense, too pretty, too difficult, too sensitive, too wild, too intimidating, too successful, too fat, too strong, too political, too joyous, too needy—too much.
She should simmer down a bit, be taken down a couple notches. Someone should put her back in a more respectable place. Someone should tell her.” I Am A “Too Much” Woman – Sex Love Liberation
“But under this new vow, I was shocked at how often I lied to people about little things, unimportant items that I easily could have been truthful about. It’s almost like I had a reflex to lie only about things I had no reason to lie about. Stamping this out was primarily logistical, like learning a new language. It wasn’t ethically challenging but more like focusing on conjugating verbs properly in Italian or French.” Two Years To No Lies – Medium
“In a short-sighted way, it makes sense. Boys tend to be early adopters, after all, and show more overt interest in tech and gear. Boys are more likely to go into STEM fields than girls. But this is not only at a time when women were actively discouraged from “male” pursuits, it created a classic catch-22. Girls are presumed to not play games, therefore games are designed for and marketed towards boys; the marketing tells girls that this isn’t for them, therefore they don’t take part, confirming that girls don’t play games. Of course, this focus on a single demographic necessitated tunnel vision that ignored the glaringly obvious: that women were out there, that women played games and would do so in droves when given the opportunity. Myst famously outsold Doom – released in the same year – and had a dominant female player base. The Sims – another incredibly successful franchise – has long held an incredibly sizable female audience. But all eyes were focused on “guy” games – first-person shooters, flight sims, etc. which continued to dominate the discourse and definition of “what is a gamer”.” The End of Gatekeeping: The Extinction Burst of Gaming Culture – Paging Dr NerdLove
“A young woman takes naked pictures of herself and texts or emails them to a lover, or keeps them for her own amusement. There is nothing wrong with this.
There is, however, something very wrong with anyone who seeks to exploit or humiliate that woman by violating her trust and/or basic right to privacy by splashing those images online.
Equality begins with a woman’s ability to have control over her own body (….including naked representations thereof).” thoughts on Jennifer Lawrence’s photos hacked + leaked online – Justine Musk
“Perhaps unsurprisingly critical feedback was doled out in a much higher ratio to women: 58.9% of men’s reviews contained critical feedback, while an overwhelming 87.9% of the reviews received by women did.
Not only did women receive more criticism in their performance reviews, it was less constructive and more personal.” The One Word Men Never See In Their Performance Reviews – Fast Company
“Hatred is a normal human emotion and, like all emotions, is just a signal. It is similar to judgment in that it is showing us, every single time, where our own inner work of acceptance is and where we have pieces of ourselves that we are hiding or rejecting. The qualities that we hate in another, or in ourselves, are the very qualities that we need to reclaim and integrate into our lives.” Self hate is the path to self love – Christie Inge
“In their book they suggest holding “the critical self with kindness, recognizing that it comes from being threatened or hurt in the past.” For instance, maybe the younger you is just trying to be protective, so you don’t receive the same cruel comments and feel so bad today.
Instead of fighting your inner critic, consider working with it. In fact, talk to it. The authors suggest connecting with the fear underlying your inner critic (going only as deep as you feel comfortable).” A Unique Way to Approach Your Inner Critic – Weightless
“The last piece of advice for you: build a morning routine around something you’re looking forward to doing. I used to love my quiet nights spent yelling into my computer or at my TV playing games, but now I honestly look forward to my quiet mornings, waking up with the sun, and going through my full morning routine in a silent house.” How to Become a Morning Person – NerdFitness
“Back when Trayvon Martin was ion the front pages, there was much discussion of previous suspensions for marijuana use. But does marijuana use warrant the death sentence? Was Zimmerman allowed to kill Trayvon because Trayvon had been suspended from school and smoked pot? Trayvon didn’t have a gun, he was out to buy iced tea and skittles. But do you have any idea how many people defended Zimmerman on the basis of Trayvon’s suspensions and pot smoking, and even talked about how Zimmerman had bettered the world by getting rid of one more “thug”?
So many times we are told that the person killed—whether Trayvon or Mike Brown or one of the many others—was a “thug.” They smoked pot, they had a criminal record, and so forth, as though these things somehow justify extrajudicial murders.” What’s a Death Sentence in the Grand Old USA – Love, Joy, Feminism
“There were so many things my nan never knew about me. I couldn’t tell her. She wouldn’t have understood. She would have worried about me endlessly. My meaning and her understandings would have been too different. So I never told her that I was queer, or that I didn’t believe in the religion that she built her life around. My meanings- that here is how my heart is made, that here is where my love of understanding and truth took me- would not have been what she heard. That disconnect, and how much I know it would have hurt her to hear those things, kept me from ever sharing them with her. I couldn’t inflict that worry on someone I love so much. That tears me inside.” When My Nan Died: Religion, Closets and Love – Consider the Tea Cosy
“This is one of the very biggest things about Christianity that bothers me: the selfishness it inspires. People believe that when things work out well for them, god has smiled on them, god has granted them favor because they are worthy. The problem with this thinking is that, logically, it would follow that when things don’t work out well for people, god has deemed them unworthy. So this God of Goodness plays favorites. Or at least he plays head games.” Guest Post: No Thanks to God by Lisa Morguess – Raising Kids Without Religion
“Everywhere, girls come to expect male violence. That double-digit gaps exist, particularly in develop nations, only illustrates more profound inequities. We are socialized to think that sexual assault, and having to bear the costs of avoiding it, is “normal.” Children and women are socialized to fear it and we adapt our behavior to avoid or, if exercised by loved ones or friends, to tolerate it. It’s why we are told develop “buddy systems,” carry “rape whistles,” “don’t wear ponytails,” and more fundamentally useless advice.” Stop Minimizing the Costs of Teaching Girls to “Stay Safe” – Soraya Chemaly – Huffington Post
“The implications of this are horrifying. It has sent a clear message to women in Ireland that if you are suicidal and seek an abortion which you are constitutionally entitled to, you run the risk of medical practitioners compelling you to wait until the foetus is viable and then having a c-section forcibly performed on you. This woman was in a very vulnerable position given the multiple traumas she had endured. It is the stuff of nightmares. There are other women who are suicidal as a result of pregnancy and access abortion services because they have the means and support to travel. Some contact Women on Web and some contract the Abortion Support Network. Some will borrow money from friends. Those who don’t have internet or phone access to make appointments or ability to leave the country, or money to pay, and will take other steps. Some will borrow from money-lenders, others might throw themselves down stairs. But those who are pregnant and suicidal will not go to these panels, the risk is too great.” To them, we are nothing but vessels – Feminist Ire
“Overall, my biggest “issue” is my all-or-nothing attitude. Too often, I overwhelm myself by planning out how I’m going to do something, so it will be “perfect,” and then have an anxiety attack at the last minute because it’s not. Of course it’s not! Then, I go to the opposite extreme and give up (I have done this with diets, and shopping “bans”).” Outfit / Most of All Have Fun – Gretchen’s Closet
“I’ve always been a pretty sensitive person.
I’m one of those people where if someone I’m living with comes home upset or stressed I’ll know it the second they walk in the door — even if I never even saw them. If the people I’m coming to visit are upset or depressed, I will know the second I walk in the door. If someone around me expressing their stress verbally (even if it’s not at all directed at me), my body feels all shaken and it’s very challenging for me to focus on any task.” How to Be Happy When Other People Are Draining You – Jennifer Twardowski
“Sweet, worried, young Danielle, It’s safe to dream. You can take care of what is important to you. You can handle whatever comes your way. There is no achievement and no failure you can make that will ever affect your intrinsic value as a human being. You are smart and resilient and with a lot of faith and a whole lotta hustle there is nothing you can’t accomplish. You’ve always figured it out and you always will. There has never been a situation you haven’t figured it out, so why would this moment be any different?” Notes to My Younger Self – Danielle Dowling
“You cannot love someone you don’t know. In the end, that’s why so many people in our society don’t love themselves, or each other. Not because they don’t try, but because they don’t know themselves.
Once you find who you are—who you really are—self-love is not an option. And neither is unconditional human love, for that matter, because once you find that spark of magic inside of you that makes your heart beat, you find that magic in all of us.” Mind Over Melodrama: 5 Lessons on Self-Awareness and Healing – Tiny Buddha
“What if depression isn’t caused by a “chemical imbalance” after all? More specifically, what if depression itself is not a disease, but a symptom of an underlying problem?
That is exactly what the most recent research on depression is telling us. A new theory called the “Immune Cytokine Model of Depression” holds that depression is not a disease itself, but instead a “multifaceted sign of chronic immune system activation.” (3)
To put it plainly: depression may be a symptom of chronic inflammation.” Is Depression a Disease or a Symptom of Inflammation – Chris Kresser
“OPTION ONE: Complain and use the diagnosis as an excuse for inaction. “Sorry, I can’t exercise, I have a bad knee/back/genetics/whatever. Now, hand me the remote and that pint of ice cream. Damn my poor luck!” Unfortunately, life isn’t fair. Some people get to play life on Easy Mode, while others have to play on Legendary Difficulty. That’s just how it works.
OPTION TWO – Become Iron Man: Identify your shrapnel – get x-rays, a check-up, or whatever you need to identify the source of your ailment. Then, accept that you’ll need to make some changes moving forward if you’re going to rise and become Iron Man. You’re going to realize that through some tinkering you can build a stronger self.” What Would Iron Man Do? – NerdFitness
“So what if instead of serial relationships one after the other we had parallel ones running alongside one another? Would this improve the odds of some of our key partnerships lasting? The mathematics of probability would say “yes”. As a child I was warned against placing all of my eggs in one basket. Yet as a grown up, I’m being told to do exactly that. Yet the real conundrum here is that none of us are really doing that anyway. So why pretend that we are?” Isn’t it time we admitted we’re all a bit polyamorous? – New Statesman
“Sometimes people who are sick- or people who are vulnerable or traumatised or even just plain lonely- do fucked-up, self-destructive things. Sometimes those things are a cry for help or for attention.
I figure, if someone’s sick or lonely or vulnerable or traumatised enough to be willing to harm themselves (or risk killing themselves) for the possibility of some help or attention? We might want to do something other than mock them for that. Maybe we should start paying attention.” Suicide and Self-harm: What’s so terrible about looking for attention? – Consider the Tea Cosy
“I have this recurring problem, and I wonder if any of you can relate. I interact with people “in real life” every day and the feedback I get is usually quite positive. I mean people generally seem to like me, you know? I’m a fairly articulate guy, plenty well-groomed, and I dress professionally (most of the time). I’m kind to people, endlessly patient, and generally resourceful at each task I’m given. Sound pretty okay, right? Sure, and bear with me a minute; there’s a point to this. I’m also quite self-sacrificial, I work pretty hard (I have three jobs currently, not counting writing), I seldom rest, and I have pretty high standards for both my professional and my personal lives. People who know me generally give glowing reports for most of what I do.
Until they find out I’m an atheist.
Once that happens, their perception of me heads south, plunging to the depths of disapproval so fast it makes my head spin. It’s disorienting, truly. Also, it’s angering, and rightly so, I think. People I’ve known for years will reverse their opinion of me the instant they find out I don’t believe the same things they believe. How is that possible? And is that really fair? It’s not that I haven’t made my share of mistakes because lemme tell you, I have. But my flaws are no more egregious than those of most of the others I know, and like any ethically-driven person I’m always working on mine. I’m keenly aware of my own weaknesses and am always striving to improve on them to the best of my ability. But that doesn’t seem to matter. Once people learn this about me, it seems to overrule everything else they’ve known about me. For them, belief trumps character every time. But why?” Character Versus Belief – Godless in Dixie
“I’m told that the Duggar children are happy, so clearly my concerns are unjustified. But you know what? The fact that the Duggar children look happy does not actually tell you anything about whether they are happy. This sounds like a rather astounding statement on my part, doesn’t it? Well bear with me! The Duggars follow parenting methods that teach that children should only ever be allowed to be cheerful, smiling, and happy. Yes, really. Those are the only emotions that are permitted.” An Open Letter to Duggar Defenders – Love, Joy, Feminism
“Here’s the thing: even if she was cheating on him – hell, even if he caught her in the middle of fucking his best friend while writing insults about his mother on her Facebook page and singing “‘Enry the Eigth” to the tune of “I’m cheating on my boyfriend because fuck him that’s why” – this does not mean she deserved to have a finger laid on her, never mind trying to rape and potentially murder her. There is no justification for beating her. None.
And yet every time, every time, we hear about a man beating a woman, there is inevitably a chorus that chimes in with some variation of “well, maybe the bitch deserved it.” We heard it from War Machine’s fans. We’ve heard it from Chris Brown’s fans after he assaulted Rihanna. We heard it when Charles Saatchi wrapped his hands around Nigella Lawson’s throat. We heard it when Charlie Sheen choked Capri Anderson and threatened to kill her. And we hear it time and time again on the individual level, when non-celebrities are abused by their partners.” Christy Mack and the Crime of “Being a Slut” – Dr NerdLove
“Rituals can have a profound impact on us HSP’s: they calm and ground us, soothe the spirit, slow us down, remind us to live in the present moment, nourish our soul and remind us that we are responsible for our own well-being.” Why Sensitive Souls Need Rituals – Kathryn Nulf
“What we want more than anything is to be loved, valued and seen. It crushes us to be ignored or looked over. Human beings are at our best when we’re in supportive relationships with each other. We crave connection, affection + validation.
It is written into our DNA. And it is because we need connection so intensely that we fear the loss of it so severely. The fear of loss is so monumental that we often pretend
we don’t need connection to survive. The ultimate lie we tell ourselves is that we will never need anyone else. We think we can do it on our own.” #1 Lie We Tell Ourselves + Why Dependancy Is Good – Danielle Dowling
“But, in my heart I was yearning for friendships where I could show up exactly as I was – and know that I could be held there. That I could be just as bright and sparkly and open-hearted as I am in my true nature, and those parts of me would be celebrated and cradled with care. That I could sob, face against the floor, in the middle of the night and you wouldn’t be inconvenienced by my sadness.” A Circle That Can Hold Anything – Mara Glatzel